Trailers Without Pity: <i>Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace 3D</i>

What's worse that Jar Jar Binks and Jake Lloyd? Jar Jar Binks and Jake Lloyd in 3D, of course!

Super Bowl 2012: Judging the Movie Trailers

by Ethan Alter February 6, 2012 9:34 am
Super Bowl 2012: Judging the Movie Trailers

Almost as notable as the movie trailers we saw during the Super Bowl were the trailers we didn't see. For example, there was no Dark Knight Rises teaser (Warner Bros. clearly knew they didn't need any extra publicity for what's likely to be the summer's biggest hit), no Amazing Spider-Man, nothing for Pixar's latest offering Brave and zilch for Ridley Scott's kinda sorta Alien prequel Prometheus. On the other hand, we got our first good shot of the Avengers all assembled together, a second peek at The Hunger Games (which actually aired during the Super Bowl pre-show, but we'll count it) and what appears to be a Transformers spin-off called Battleship. Here's our take on what Hollywood had to show us, listed in alphabetical order:

Abduction and Seven Other Movie Characters Whose Pasts Are a Lie

by Ethan Alter September 20, 2011 3:40 pm
<i>Abduction</i> and Seven Other Movie Characters Whose Pasts Are a Lie

In the John Singleton-directed thriller Abduction, Twilight heartthrob Taylor Lautner plays a seemingly ordinary teenager who discovers that the life he's been leading for some 18 years is one giant lie. Instead of a popular high-schooler living in suburban bliss with parents Maria Bello and Jason Isaacs, he's actually a kick-ass action hero that's been targeted by a high-level government agency eager to get more intel on him and his real mom and dad. Talk about a buzz-kill. Although on the upside, going on the run to uncover his actual identity does get him out of having to take his final exams. And maybe while he's searching for his elusive origins, he'll cross paths with some of these other men and women who discovered that their memories of their pasts aren't exactly on the up-and-up. [Warning: Spoilers ahead.]

I Want My DVD: Tuesday, September 13, 2011

by Ethan Alter September 13, 2011 6:00 am
I Want My DVD: Tuesday, September 13, 2011

We sense a great disturbance in the Force...

Dark Knight Felled By Thunder

by Odie Henderson August 18, 2008 10:37 am
<i>Dark Knight</i> Felled By <i>Thunder</i> Pineapple Express underachieved on its opening weekend, causing the Watchmen-addicted Zach to incorrectly predict it would unseat The Dark Knight. I challenged him, stating that Tropic Thunder would be Batman's nemesis. He said I was crazy, and I was -- like a fox! Let's look at this logically: On one hand, you have a stoner movie. They're having a resurgence thanks to Judd Apatow and company. On the other hand, you have a movie that, in the name of satire, makes fun of Blacks, Asians, and the mentally challenged. It also has a Scientologist using more Jewish stereotypes in his performance than a Mel Brooks movie on crack. And let's not forget the gory war violence and farts! How could anybody predict that Middle America would resist this movie?! You don't need to be Miss Cleo to get this one. While I wrestle Zach for the one measly dollar I've won, which he refuses to pony up, here are this weekend's box office numbers.

Oh, The Horror

by Kasey McDonald August 7, 2008 12:07 pm
Oh, The Horror

It looks as though a few Hollywood types are about to step out of their comfort zones and into genres not normally associated with them. Get your head out of the gutter, dude, I meant horror movies. Rumor has it that Natalie Portman and her production company Handsome Charlie Films are teaming up with The Pineapple Express and Superbad director David Gordon Green for a remake of the 1977 horror classic Suspiria.

Transformers 2: Revenge of Poor Filmmaking

by Zach Oat June 6, 2008 2:14 pm
Transformers 2: Revenge of Poor Filmmaking

The full title of Transformers 2 has been revealed! Since part of the movie was being filmed in Pennsylvania, I was hoping it would be called Transformers 2: Amish Paradise, but that is not the case. (Also, Pennsylvania is apparently standing in for China.) No, the movie is called Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, thereby guaranteeing that Megatron, who we last saw at the bottom of the Dino de Laurentian Abyss, will be making a return. The film also has the distinct honor of being the 27th sequel to have the word "Revenge" in the title.

Will it be able to live up to the legacy of other great "revenge" movies? Let's compare:



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