The Telefile

New Girl: The Do’s and Don’ts of Cat Sitting

by Aly Semigran September 25, 2013 10:41 am
<i>New Girl</i>: The Do’s and Don’ts of Cat Sitting

Nick and Jess are still madly in love (it's only a matter of time before they drop those three little words, wouldn't you agree?), Schmidt is still torn between Elizabeth and Cece (pick Elizabeth, you fool, she gives delightful speeches in public !) and Winston is getting crazier by the week. "Nerd" was more or less an extension of last week's disjointed season premiere, but a much more cohesive, romantic and funny one, at that.

A Tale of Two Kitties
Since the writers still have no idea what to do with Winston, the name of the game seems to be: make him bizarrely obsessed with something. In the Season 2 finale, it was capturing a badger for a prank; in the Season 3 premiere it was obsessively doing puzzles, despite being color blind; and in "Nerd" it was attempting to kill his girlfriend Daisy's cat Furguson. When Winston put two and two together to realize that Daisy was clearly cheating on him after he agreed to watch her goofy-looking cat (the two clues being the shower was running with someone in it and a pair of men's shoes on the floor in her apartment). Rather than heed Nick's advice and just break up with the already terrible woman (seriously, was anyone hoping this panned out?) Winston went a little crazier than usual and spent the episode coming up with ways to off the cat. Of course, he's just wacky and not, you know, mentally disturbed, so he instead kept the cat and saved the other cat – his heart—and sent Daisy (Brenda Song) packing and back to Dads. Good luck with that!

A Tale of Two Shorties
Schmidt is still dating his two loves, Elizabeth (the great Merritt Wever) and Cece, but it's starting to get to him. It doesn't help that his cruel co-worker Beth (Eva Amurri Martino) is doing everything in her power to make sure he gets caught. When both of the women show up to his company party, he desperately tries to play interference by sticking Cece in his Don Draper scale-replica office and then having her pretend she's a caterer, while he shoves Elizabeth in the stairwell and then convinces Cece that Elizabeth works at his office. These schemes somehow work but when we see a teary-eyed Schmidt (a nice, subtle moment from the typically over-the-top Max Greenfield) at the end of the charade, it's obvious he won't have this in him much longer.

The Old Man and the Sack Pack
Well, Nick Miller's transformation from messy knucklehead to full-blown dreamboat is now complete. I mean, for crying out loud, they had him waiting outside of a school on the hood of a red car, Jake Ryan-style at the end of the episode. (Didn't think it was possible to make Jake Johnson look dreamier, but they pulled it off). But not only has Nick become the boyfriend of my/your/Jess's dreams (he's doing everything from helping her with her problems with the "cool" clique of teachers at school to saying adorable things like "I would have noticed you") but he's even helping manage Winston's full-fledged meltdown. Who is this Nick Miller?! Of course, you could argue that Nick helping Jess become friends with the trio of cool, albeit mean colleagues at her school (played by Angela Kinsey, Dreama Walker and Mark Proksch) by bribing them with "15 and a halfie" dollars' worth of school supplies and free drinks was his way of avoiding his own issues or, worse, turn Jess into Old Nick, but really, I think he's just a guy in love. It's also nice to know that, despite leaving Paradise Nick and Paradise Jess behind, these two are still in the honeymoon phase. And by that I mean, these two are doing it everywhere, including the teacher's lounge. The old man and his old lady are pretty hot and heavy for each other.

Episode Highlights

-- Schmidt's infamous cat story: How did he wind up shirtless in a bar with cats licking his nipples? Apparently we'll never know the full story, though it seems he's told others before. ("Grow up, nothing came out," he assured, to the comfort of no one). He also wasn't kidding when he said cats are obsessed with his nipples, as evident from Furguson doing just that at the end of the episode. Nick's look of horror said it all.

-- Nick's claim to fame in high school was being great at hackey sack. In fact, he it was called the Nick Miller Sack Pack and t-shirts were made. Jess, on the other hand, spent her high school days performing what looked like a Renaissance Faire number for her talent show.

-- The effortless banter between Greenfield, Johnson and Morris during the elevator scene. Whether it's Schmidt telling Nick he's never seen him smile before ("It's not bad… it's not great") or the fact that no one pushed the button the whole time, these three have perfect comedic chemistry together. Maybe they should stop splitting them up so much.

-- To wake anyone up from a hangover, the gang in the loft will sing a very loud rendition of "I Believe I Can Fly."

-- Jess and Nick didn't have that creepy three-way with their landlord Remi back in Season 1, but god only knows what happened with Jess' boss Dr. Foster in his coveted "jacooz" when the two of them paid the price for trying to sneak onto his property so Jess would look cool for her new friends. This time the seductive tune went from "Send Me On My Way" to "I Don't Want to Wait," but it definitely proves how far these two are willing to go for each other.

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