8:00 AM – 9:00 AM

Episode Report Card
Gustave: B+ | Grade It Now!
Sliced Jalapeno

Hey, I'm Kiefer. I'm just resting my cheek on this support beam in the middle of my busy office, and I'm telling you through a voice-over about this awful day I'm having and you know, up until now it's been rough for the real Kiefer too. I was once this young talent on the verge of superstardom, but thanks to a string of bad projects and a very public wedding cancellation by a certain Academy Award winner whose name I won't mention right now, I was just a few acting lessons away from being another Corey. But then my father sat me down one day and told me that I had to stop hanging around my Silverlake house all day smoking pot, eating Lu biscuits, and playing Tetris. So I was all, "But you were the one who told me never to do television!" And he was all, "It's a job!" and gives me this whole song and dance about what an artistic achievement The Sopranos is. So before I knew it, I'm working my butt off on a Fox show -- talk about bait and switch! Hello? HBO, my ass! -- and the ratings are lower than the rent on a burning building. So I'm just about to put a gun in my mouth when they give me a Golden Globe nom and my show starts getting all this buzz. Dude, I'm back! I'm the new Rob Lowe! Oh sure, I was all genuinely humble when I got up and accepted my award and shit, but just give me a few months and I'll be awash in strippers and pharmaceutical-grade cocaine. And by the way? Have you seen Ocean's 11? She looks like krap! Oh wait, I wasn't going to say anything about that…

The previouslys. Palmer needs to tell the world the truth about his son, and wants his wife to stand by his side while he does it. Soul Patch and Nina figure out that Jalapeno is the mole, so they cuff her to a desk and wheedle information out of her. Kiefer sneaks weapons into the Palmer breakfast, but the assassination attempt is foiled. Gaines almost executes the Kiefettes, but realizes he needs them alive. The following takes place between 8:00 AM and 9:00 AM…

The power plant in the aftermath of The Food-Free Palmer Breakfast. It's just a Vermeer cityscape of Delft with this big bright overcast sky but all industrialized with all these big pipes. Palmer and his wife are surrounded by dozens of Secret Service men in navy suits inside a freight elevator. Head Secret Service Guy is telling Palmer that he needs to stay close to his Secret Service Detail until they "clear the area." For once, Palmer seems to be cooperating. They are led down a back staircase, still thickly surrounded by sweaty, nervous G-men.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP