8:00 PM – 9:00 PM

Episode Report Card
Gustave: B | Grade It Now!
The rekapture of Kiefer

Previouslys. The Palmers are having marital problems. Bride finds out that Spawn is still alive. Spawn is thrown into the klink. Kiefer finds an underground prison, and Lou Diamond Phillips is the warden. Dennis Hopper -- as Papa Drazen -- is one of the prisoners. ForeignAccentedTerrorBoss is determined to spring his father from jail by any means necessary. "Zey are here."

Before I begin, I promised Penny Johnson Jerald's agent that I'd clarify something for y'all. Yesterday was the longest day of my life. I was waiting for a call from a certain someone on the left coast -- and I'll just let you all stew over that one for a few days -- while a client of mine was hovering around my desk wanting everything yesterday. My cell rang. According to my caller ID, it was from a California area code, so I made a supplicating shrug-like gesture to my client to indicate that I absolutely had to take the call. It wasn't the woman I was hoping to hear from. Instead it was Judy, Penny Johnson Jerald's agent. I daresay we're getting to be phone buddies. She had finally seen my interview with Penny and wanted to tell me that everyone was pleased with how it had turned out.

"Just one thing," she said, her voice getting a little more focused.


"What did you mean by, 'I didn't have the guts to ask her about GLOW'? What is GLOW?"

"Uh, Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling," I answered as softly as I possibly could. I checked to see if my client was listening. He was.

"What?" squawked Judy. "I don't know anything about that."

"It's listed on her IMDB page," I said. "She played Liberty?"

"Well, I'm going to have to ask her about that," said Judy. "That's the first I've heard of it." We hung up and I got back to work. Twenty minutes later, my phone rings again. Again, it wasn't the caller I was hoping to hear from. Hint. It was Judy. "I just got off the phone with Penny," she said. "She says that it's a mistake. She was never in GLOW. It was someone else with the same name. She even met this woman a couple of times. Oh and she wasn't a script supervisor on Clubhouse Detectives (1996), Seasons of the Heart (1993), The ButterCream Gang (1992), or Love Kills (1991) (TV) either." I promised Judy that I'd pass that information along to my readers. So there you have it.

Well, it's official, according to the Maureen Kingsley-free news. The polls have closed, and Palmer has not only won California but also all eleven primaries that were held that day. Furthermore, according to the blonde newscaster that Palmer is watching on his TV in the Palmer Suite, Palmer got a surge of votes toward the end of the day after he kame klean about Theo.

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