Day 2: 1:00 PM – 2:00 PM

Episode Report Card
Gustave: A | 1 USERS: A+
The return of Lady Mac

Previouslies. Nina is back, and there's this bomb about to go off unless Jack can stop it. And some other stuff has happened too.

Okay, so I just got back from Vegas -- where I autographed posters for Agent0042 and Mrs. Dalgliesh; thanks guys! -- and discovered that my tape is missing a few minutes from the top of the show. Apparently my technophobic ex-boyfriend, who was taking care of my dogs and doesn't have cable, taped an episode of South Park over it. Thanks for taking care of my dogs and otherwise being a very agreeable ex, Mario, but that rule about not touching the VCR from while we were going out? It still applies. So anyway, according to the official recap on the Fox site, the show opens thusly: "As Nina waits in a secured CTU room, Jack is handed her case file. Yet he knows all about her and doesn't need it to interrogate her." I didn't see it myself, but I'm sure it was fraught with sexual tension.

So then I still don't have the beginning of this scene at NSA but from what I can gather from the Fox site, reporters are bombarding Palmer with questions about the helicopter crash and if it has any connection to the CTU bombing. Palmer remains silent about the B-O-M-B and promises a "full investigation." Asian Patty is left holding the bag and assures the reporters that a statement will be released once they know more. As Palmer and Rolaide walk away from the press conference, Palmer reminds Rolaide to curtail any further statements to the press and keep leaks to a minimum.

Oh, man. Someone as gay as I am is doing the cinematography for this episode, because the opening shot of this next scene is a total shout-out to one of those Vogue photographs from the sixties taken by someone like Avedon or Bert Stern. A woman is sitting in Palmer's office, but all we can see of her is the back of her head and one of her perfectly made-up eyes in the mirror of her compact. Palmer enters; the mystery lady turns around and reveals herself. It's Lady Mac! Rock out! Oh sure, there's no way on earth that the Secret Service would just let Palmer's ex-wife into his office to hang out unsupervised, but she's bringing the Heather Locklear on Melrose Place vibe, so I'm not complaining too hard. Palmer asks her how she got in his office. Lady Mac elliptically replies that "many people" respect the fact that she was married to Palmer for "many years." That's kind of like saying that many people respected the fact that Ike was married to Tina for many years and then giving Ike the keys to Tina's dressing room, but, again, I'm not going to complain. We've missed Lady Mac, and we're not going to ask too many questions. At the mention of "marriage," Rolaide looks down guiltily at her shoes, giving us something to ruminate on. Lady Mac says that she needs to talk to Palmer alone for five minutes, and looks pointedly at Rolaide. Palmer tells her that even if he was interested in what she has to say, today is not the day. Lady Mac assures him that it's not about their marriage. "Did you order an evacuation of military personnel out of Los Angeles?" she asks. Palmer and Rolaide are both stunned to hear this, since Palmer ordered no such evacuation. "Who told you this?" asks Palmer calmly after one of his trademark slow burns. "Five minutes," purrs Lady Mac, holding up five of her manicured fingers. Palmer tells her to wait, pulls Rolaide aside, and asks her to find out more about the evacuation.

Chez Crew. Soul Patch continues to question FarsiBoy about his ties to Syed Ali. FarsiBoy refuses to answer, instead accusing Soul Patch of engaging in racial profiling. He also points out that he's from England and is about to marry a white Protestant American girl, so Soul Patch doesn't even have his facts straight. Soul Patch points out that educated Muslims with passports and the ability to assimilate into Western society are precisely the sorts of people that are recruited by terrorist cells. In fact, one of the places that recruits a large number of these terrorists is a mosque located…near Reza's home in London. "So tell me, Reza," says Soul Patch, his moist mouth opening provocatively. "How's my racial profiling going now?" Reza asks for a lawyer. Soul Patch flatly refuses his request.

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