Day 2: 10:00 PM – 11:00 PM

Episode Report Card
Gustave: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
Spawn, I'm going on a trip...

Previouslys. Mason gets too sick to work, so he steps down, leaving Soul Patch in charge of CTU. Spawn claws her way out of the non-B-O-M-B shelter. The Lonnie-bomber gives her a handgun as a parting gift to ward off cougars and rapists. Oops! Getting ahead of myself. Palmer shows Lady Mac the door. Marie goes down and flips her wig. Kiefer finds the second B-O-M-B in an outbuilding at Norton Airfield. Moby says he can't say when it will detonate.

Norton Airfield. A garage door opens. Kiefer and a team of CTU agents pour forth like gang members in Michael Jackson's Bad video. They have the B-O-M-B on this cute little go-cart, and they wheel it into an empty hangar so Moby and his helpers can diffuse it. Wow. According to the credits, there's an actor named Maximillian Martini who just joined the cast. Do you get beaten up in grade school with a name like Maximillian Martini, or do you get laid at an unusually young age? An SUV with a siren blaring pulls up outside. A weak and sweaty Mason emerges from it. Uh, Mason? We can't miss you if you don't leave. We said goodbye to you last week. Tears streamed down our collective cheeks as the clock "plinked" silently. What are you doing back here? Kiefer asks him the same question. Mason answers that he wanted to get a last look at the very thing that killed him. Uh, whatever. If I were dying of lung cancer brought on by exposure to asbestos, I wouldn't be spending my last days on earth at the public junior high school I attended when I was fourteen, would I? Moby reports to Kiefer that the B-O-M-B is tamper-proof. Number one, is anything really "tamper-proof" outside of a movie or TV show? I mean, I'm no physics major, but it seems to me that in order for something to happen (i.e. for a bomb to detonate on a timer), some action has to occur in order to make that happen. So there would have to be something you could do to stop the bomb from exploding if you had a screwdriver and a blowtorch and a team of highly qualified N.E.S.T. agents. Kiefer orders Goodrich to find a fast plane so that the B-O-M-B can be flown somewhere else. There are no jets at this airfield, so Goodrich needs to find the next best thing. Goodrich knows of a "rock-solid" Cessna that will do. Kiefer sends him off to get it. Then Sweaty Kiefer and Sweaty Mason exchange an extra long glance as Kiefer pulls out his cell phone and calls Palmer's office. While he waits for the president to pick up, Kiefer asks a techie who looks like Don Cheadle how much time they have. "Fifty-five minutes" is the answer. Oh, how convenient.

Is there any sight more heterosexually delicious to a male predator than that of a Spawn desperate and afraid, walking all alone along a deserted road and clutching a phallic-shaped flashlight while she tries to flag down a ride? Get out of my rape fantasies and into my car! A pair of bikers zooms by to check her out. It's just so Charlene Tilton circa 1979. You know how they say that people can smell fear? Well, someone has to bottle this scent that Spawn is giving off right now. They can call it "Smell of Fear." Wear it and be assailable. For the upcoming holidays, they can offer a Christmas Bonus Pack that contains body lotion and eau de toilette and call it "The Gift of Fear" and have author Gavin De Becker endorse it. Finally a car slows down for Spawn. The male driver seems nice at first, and asks her where she's headed. Hey, whaddya know? He's going to San Jose too. Of course, they've got to stop at a 7-11 for some electrical tape and some latex gloves, but Spawn should be at Aunt Carol's in no time. Spawn is a little freaked that this guy is so enthusiastic to have her in his car, so she changes her mind and decides not to take the ride. Either that or she was skeeved out by how much he looked like Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20 when he opened the door and the interior light went on. Skeeve isn't taking no for an answer. He gets out of the car to persuade her to get in, and Spawn draws her gun on him. "You don't know how to use that thing," says Skeeve. Spawn pulls the trigger and takes out his window. The guy drives off, calling her a "bitch," and Spawn continues walking down the highway.

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