24
Day 2: 6:00 PM – 7:00 PM

Episode Report Card
Gustave: B+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Sisters in disguise

Electric Blue Kiefer. New credit sequence that's very reminiscent of last season's. For the benefit of those who just tuned in after tonight's American Idol, VoiceOverKiefer explains that a terrorist threat has been made against Los Angeles as they show a smoky-looking L.A. cityscape. "There are people inside our government who maybe involved," says VoiceOverKiefer as shots of Yulin, PoorMan'sHumeCronyn, Rolaide, and Bitchelle are shown. And that's an important detail, boys and girls, because as you may well remember from last year, Nina's face was shown when Kiefer referred to an insider being involved with the Drazens. "And my daughter is in danger," kontinues Kiefer, as Spawn is shown getting ready to run away from that car accident. No, we don't get to see the jiggle yet, but there's lots of that coming soon, I promise. "My name is Jack Bauer," says Kiefer. "And from 9:00 AM, I have been tracking this bomb," he adds, while various shots of Kiefer with his gun drawn are displayed. "And time is running out."

Previouslys. Kiefer determines that the militia men at the crash site were Americans trained by Colonel Sanders, some dude who is funded on the sly by NSA. Palmer questions Yulin about Colonel Sanders. Yulin denies everything. A phone call from Lady Mac reveals that she is in cahoots with Yulin. Syed Ali orders PonchoDude to kill Cate, but Kiefer kills PonchoDude first. Then he and Cate go look for Syed in some L.A. mosques. Enricky starts a fire in the back of PolicemanWithSpeakingPart's SUV. Only Spawn and her lying boobage escape the totaled vehicle. Marie is bad. Real bad.

It's been a long three weeks, hasn't it? And what better way to usher in a new block of new 24 episodes than to feature a nice long stretch of Spawn running from the totaled police car now that a team of paramedics has arrived. And then, in something one of my art history professors would have referred to as "visual rhyming," a pair of mountains is featured in the background. What I'm assuming are rescue helicopters appear on the horizon. Spawn hides from them under some brush. I'm not sure why they'd send a rescue helicopter to an accident scene involving a single car…especially when an ambulance has already arrived at the scene. But hey, who can complain if it makes Spawn run?

But maybe some of us weren't really looking forward to Spawn running as much as what Marie was going to do next after shooting her fiancée and a CTU agent a few minutes ago in cold blood. Well, back at Crew and Co., Marie makes her way around the body of an extra who is supposed to be Reza -- no need to pay an actor for another episode if he's not going to have any lines, right? -- and puts her gun with silencer back into her little tan purse. Then she goes behind Papa Crew's desk, lifts up the G4 CPU off the floor and places it atop the desk like it's a copy of Marie Claire, and rips out the hard drive inside. Um, what is on Papa Crew's hard drive? Evidence that Marie is involved? Apparently not, since all Reza and DeadBlackAgent found on Papa Crew's computer was evidence that business had been done with Syed Ali from Reza's laptop. Otherwise, I doubt that there are any files on Papa Crew's computer that, say, contain location information about the B-O-M-B. For the seventeenth time this season, I'm wondering why Syed and his posse are so worried about keeping their involvement with the B-O-M-B a secret when they're all going to die that day anyway. Plus, someone's obviously going to see the dismantled CPU and dust it for fingerprints anyway. But then, it is quite entertaining to watch Marie coldly sidestep those bodies and gut her father's computer, so I'll stop complaining.

Marie's cell phone rings. It's Syed Ali, informing her that Basheer (Joey Fatone) and Marko (Ben Kingsley's Nephew) are dead, and Justin Al-Guarini (tm Dogboy) has the van now. News, like everything else, sure travels fast in the Twentyfourverse. I mean, I love how there's no mass panic from the terrorist threat because, apparently, no one has time to watch CNN, but Syed Ali has time to sift though all of the local news in order to learn that two of his henchmen have been shot. Anyway, Syed informs Marie that the "mission" depends on her now. Apparently, Marko left the "bomb trigger" in his locker at work. Okay, I'm not quite sure what I find more appalling: the fact that someone would bring a device designed to detonate a nuclear bomb to his job and leave it there, or the fact that these terrorists had to hold down menial jobs during their last days alive. I mean, they are all so meticulous about covering their tracks, and yet one of them just leaves the bomb trigger at work? Here's what I leave at work: umbrellas, herbal tea bags, packets of Sweet 'N' Low, my cell phone recharger, the AC adapter for my laptop, et cetera. I would never leave a bomb trigger. But then, I'm not a terrorist. And these people aren't known for being detail-oriented. Case in point: the dude who tried to get the deposit back on the rental car used to bomb the World Trade Center in 1993. And what is up with this terrorist cell? They have to get jobs? Jeez, the 9/11 bombers got to hang out in an air-conditioned Florida motel room with a pool while they took flying lessons. I mean, if I'm blowing up a city with me in it, I'm going to live a little. It's not like I'm going to have bills to pay much longer. So basically, Syed asks Marie to head over to Burbank, pick up the trigger, and give it to Justin Al-Guarini, the only one of three TerrorStooges who is still alive. Well, I guess that answers the question of whether or not Justin Al-Guarini was going to break ranks and take off with the B-O-M-B. Syed tells Marie that Marko's locker was locked, so she needs to do whatever she has to get inside that locker. Oh, and she needs to change her appearance. They hang up, and Syed enters a mosque.

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24

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