Day 3: 12:00 AM – 1:00 AM

Episode Report Card
Gustave: C+ | Grade It Now!
You've Got To Be Somebody's Baby!

Back at CTU, I don't know who is stupider: Spawn for interrupting Soul Patch during the V-I-R-U-S exchange to whine about Potato Face's baby or Soul Patch himself for not telling Spawn to "zip it" while he supervises an important military exercise. They meet in an empty conference room, where Spawn tells Soul Patch about the confusing origin of Tater Tot, and how Potato Face doesn't have a child. "I confronted her, and she said that this was her boyfriend's baby and the mother of this child was letting it get abused," says Spawn. "But I spoke to Child Protective Services, and they said that there was no abuse claim filed." As if Child Protective Services has staff working around the clock whose primary purpose is to answer questions like that. Spawn is worried that Potato Face is unstable, and that her mental state could affect the interception of the V-I-R-U-S. Soul Patch tells Spawn to "take a step back" and consider that Potato Face is the only person in the office who can "filter audio streams" and thus keep them in touch with Charlie Brown, who in turn is in touch with Kiefer. "We don't have an alternative; we have got to keep [Potato Face] in place!" insists Soul Patch, ordering Spawn to take care of the baby until this operation is over. "I do not want [Potato Face] distracted!" he says. Although he admits that he's not too happy about the latest turn of events, either. Spawn has no choice but to suck it up.

Back at Kelly's trailer, Lady Mac enters to find no sign of Kelly. Furthermore, the place is ransacked. Okay, by "ransacked," I mean there's an unmade bed and some overturned liquor bottles and glasses. In other words, it looks like my apartment on any given night of the week. Wasn't Lady Mac standing a few feet away for a grand total of five minutes? Where'd Kelly go? It's not like he has a back door or a basement. She notices some blood on the kitchen wall. She panics and flees the trailer. As music plays that sounds like someone dragging a stick across a picket fence, Lady Mac runs to her car and searches frantically through her faux-Birkin Bag for her keys. Off in the distance, a parked car puts on its headlights and moves toward Lady Mac. Just as Lady Mac is about to lose her mind, the car passes her and turns out to be driven by an elderly couple who look like they belong in a Roz Chast cartoon. She finally finds her keys and reaches the safety of her car.

Back at CTU, Special Agent Charlie Brown reports that Amador and company have arrived. And again, I'm confused. I thought they were taking Nina somewhere else to do the deal, but Amador is parking in front of what looks like the same building they were all just in. Only Kiefer is inside, looking out through the window with his night-vision goggles. I guess they didn't really go inside that building, and instead went to another building, where they set up their vantage point. Anyway, Soul Patch confirms with Charlie Brown that the Delta forces are ninety seconds away, and will only rush in to intercept the V-I-R-U-S once they have confirmation that Nina has it. Inside the Whatever Building, Amador enters to find Nina standing there with the Salazar bodyguard. "Do you have it?" Nina asks. Amador confirms that he does. Nina says she will transfer the funds to his account once she verifies the V-I-R-U-S. Amador takes out a glowing greed test tube, which Nina places in some contraption that apparently is able to "verify" the V-I-R-U-S. Like, if there was a machine out there that could verify if something's the V-I-R-U-S or not, wouldn't that suggest that whoever built the machine would know how to make said V-I-R-U-S in the first place? Or does this machine merely detect anything "viral"? If so, what's to prevent Amador from putting an ordinary flu virus into a test tube with some phosphorescent green food coloring and charging Nina several million dollars for it? Or maybe I'm overthinking this. Anyway, once the contraption starts to make these beeping sounds, Nina announces that it will take five minutes to confirm that this is the V-I-R-U-S. The time is 12:35:41 AM.

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