Day 3: 12:00 PM – 1:00 PM

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now!
Let's Give The Boy A Hand

So, as part of my unending commitment to you, the readers of Television Without Pity, I'm writing the season finale recap in California. Yes, I actually traveled to Los Angeles in order to more fully immerse myself -- and, by extension, you -- in the 24 experience. Sars, my expense report will be on your desk shortly.

The downside is that I won't necessarily have access to a VCR while on the road. So in honor of the season finale, I decided to make the first attempt (as far as I know) to write a recap in real time! And what better show for the occasion? Good thing I can type almost ten words a minute. Let's get to it, shall we?

Kiere fe sawubway phone Bitchelle ID saunders people station now Mrs Gael Sol ptahc blakmali…

Okay, maybe that wasn't such a good idea.

Previously on 24: Julia Milliken killed Lady Mac and then herself. Hammer told Soul Patch he was looking at twenty years in prison. Kiefer threatened to check Spawnders into Inn Fection. Saunders agreed to help CTU find his virus couriers. The last one was somewhere in Los Angeles. Kiefer and Special Agent Charlie Brown found the GPS transmitter in a subway station, but the virus it was supposed to be attached to was nowhere in sight. Kiefer called all hands on deck and ordered the subway station shut down. The following takes place between 12:00 PM and 1:00 PM.

The subway station. Kiefer's on the line with Bitchelle, who naturally is back at work slightly more than an hour after being held hostage by a terrorist. Kiefer explains what's going on with the virus's L.A. courier -- who we've been calling Wild Card -- being loose in the subway station. Kiefer wants to set up a way for Saunders to identify Wild Card remotely. Since we're in the season finale, that shouldn't take more than a few minutes to organize. After Bitchelle gets off the phone, she learns that Mrs. Gael is in the house. This should be fun.

Soul Patch is being grilled about what went on during his hour as Mole Patch. A woman who I assume is Rae Plachecki is tossing him softballs about how he tried to locate Saunders even as he was working with him, but Hammer cuts in to point out that Soul Patch's good intentions are somewhat mitigated by the fact that he scrambled the voice track on the call he gave Potato Face to analyze. Well, I'm glad they explained that, at least. The questioners cut to the chase: Did he put Bitchelle's life ahead of the safety of American people and national security? Soul Patch cops to it. Now I see why Soul Patch didn't want a lawyer. Lawyers and real time don't go together very well, I'd imagine. If Dick Wolf ever launches Law & Order: Billable Hours, I'm going to give it a pass.

Mrs. Gael is in a CTU conference room talking to Bitchelle. She asks if Gael suffered when he died from exposure to the virus. Bitchelle lies like a two-dollar whore. Mrs. Gael breaks down anyway. Bitchelle calls Gael a hero and goes on about how he tried to keep the virus from being released -- and who wouldn't, with his face inches away from the vial? -- but he just kept working even after he failed, as if his next annual review was still an issue. Mrs. Gael tearfully thanks Bitchelle, and they clasp hands. She wants to pick up Gael's stuff. Bitchelle steps outside the room and dispatches Spawn to accompany Mrs. Gael. While Mrs. Gael is alone in the room, she spots a photo montage of Saunders on a nearby monitor. Hmm, what will she do with that information?

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