Day 3: 2:00 AM – 3:00 AM

Episode Report Card
Gustave: C+ | Grade It Now!
Tater Not

Previously. Amador is no ama-teur. Why, he's an Ama-whore! Sorry, I've been dying to unload that pun all season long! Kiefer lets Nina live in exchange for some information about Amador's cute friend Alvers. Lady Mac kills William Ocean III by sassing him to death. Spawn is very disappointed to find out that several months ago, some sperm belonging to Special Agent Charlie Brown fertilized the eggs of some other woman who was neither Spawn nor Potato Face. This could have happened during an act of sexual intercourse, but we, the viewers, don't know this for sure yet. This subsequently produced a child which Spawn has had to baby-sit for the last two hours, despite the fact that she was neither involved in the biological production of this child, nor the episode of alleged lovemaking that produced it. The following takes place between 2:00 AM and 3:00 AM.

Point Mugu Naval Air Station. Aaron Copland-y music plays as dozens of shiny planes with US of A logos on them are shown unloading the CTU personnel who were just in Mexico. Kiefer gets off a plane, followed by Nina in cuffs. "I got her!" shouts Kiefer to no one in particular. Some guy from Division is there to meet Kiefer's plane and escort Nina back to CTU. "She doesn't leave my sight!" Kiefer kounters with a velvety roar. Yes, Nina is dangerous, Kiefer. We. Get. It. Meanwhile, the Division guy hands Special Agent Charlie Brown a cell phone. He's got a phone call from Potato Face, who warns him that everyone at CTU now knows about Tater Tot and that she's Charlie's daughter. Charlie asks Potato Face how this all happened, and Potato Face explains about the babysitter having that family emergency and leaving Tater Tot with Potato Face. Apparently Charlie Brown has a sister but she's out of town as well. Charlie thanks Potato Face for covering and asks her where Tater is right now. "She's downstairs with Marcy until you get back," says Potato Face. Who is Marcy, and where was she while they made Spawn baby-sit? "Did Spawn find out?" asks Charlie. Potato Face replies that Spawn found out. Of course, she neglects to inform Charlie that she's the one who told Spawn, but that's not important. "How did she react?" asks Chase. "Gosh, Charlie," deadpans Potato Face, "I think she was kinda pissed!"

Back at CTU, Chappelle addresses the team in the conference room, informing them (and reminding new viewers) that Amador is in possession of "the Cordilla virus" and is thought to be in Los Angeles. "We estimate that he has enough of the pathogen to take out a major metropolitan area," says Chappelle. Their only lead, according to Chappelle, is Nina Myers. At the mention of Nina's name, they show a close-up of Bitchelle doing a very good job of hiding her annoyance that her husband's ex-girlfriend is going to be around. Chappelle goes on to explain that Amador is meeting up with a business partner named Alvers, and asks Adam, the Woman Hater, to brief the group on Alvers. "We have some background," says Adam sheepishly. "But we have nothing that places him definitively in Los Angeles." Chappelle gives him a cold stare and asks him about Interpol findings. "Our data tracking is a little behind so we weren't able to access that report," says Adam. "Why are we behind?" asks Chappelle. Soul Patch interrupts to explain that they haven't been updating the European contact logs. This makes absolutely no sense in the context of what Interpol is. Interpol is an international agency that provides a database of information about criminals and crimes and makes it available to other countries. If Interpol doesn't have the latest data on Alvers's whereabouts, it's not necessarily CTU's fault. It's like saying that the supermarket is out of Bisquick because I didn't go there recently to buy Bisquick. Nevertheless, Chappelle asks Bitchelle, the agent in charge of updating Interpol, why she was remiss in her duties. "I didn't think Europe was a priority," says Bitchelle. "Obviously it was," sneers Soul Patch. "There was a lot going on at the time," says Bitchelle, stunned that her husband is making her look bad during a meeting. Chappelle closes the meeting with a stern warning to all of the agents to stop making crucial mistakes. "There are millions of lives depending on us," he says, exiting. Bitchelle slams her notebook shut and leaves the room. Soul Patch calls after her, but she ignores him.

In Palmerville, Brother Palmer enters Palmer's office to tell him about the latest findings by CTU: that the V-I-R-U-S is on its way to L.A. or might be there already. A secretary interrupts them via intercom to tell Palmer that Lady Mac -- who she refers to as "Mrs. Palmer" -- is there to see him. Palmer sends Brother Palmer off to alert the appropriate agencies, but before he leaves, Lady Mac enters and has this really weird cold exchange with Brother Palmer. She doesn't say "hi" to him, she just says, "Wayne!" and Brother Palmer totally doesn't answer and leaves the room. "I asked you here to help me, not make things worse!" says Palmer, once the door is closed. "I did not want you going to William Ocean's house." Lady Mac tells Palmer to relax and lies to him, saying that she never went to William Ocean's house. She called Mrs. Ocean on the phone instead, but Mrs. Ocean refused to help Lady Mac. "You don't take no for an answer," says Palmer. "What aren't you telling me?" Lady insists that she parked by the side of the road instead and made phone calls. Okay, so let me get this straight: Palmer announces that he's going to "get down in the mud" with William Ocean; makes a point of calling Lady Mac, his ex-wife, in order to head this up because she's good at fighting dirty; and gives her carte blanche to do so. And now two hours later, he's questioning her integrity?

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