Day 5: 1:00 AM – 2:00 AM

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now!
Carry-on Kiefer
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

When last we saw Kiefer, he was just about to move a wounded Audrey out of the airplane hangar. And when we come back from the previouslies, we see that he's succeeded in moving her about ten feet. I guess that's all he really needed to get her into a seated position, leaning her against a parked forklift or Bobcat or something. The tourniquet he's tied around her arm is working better than he expected; in fact, the bleeding has already stopped, which means that Henderson didn't sever her brachial artery after all. That seems like a cheat, given the amount of gore she left on the ground at the end of last hour, not to mention the mess on her clothes and Kiefer's hands. But then blood always looks like there's a lot more than there really is, don't you find? I sure do. Remind me to tell you that story some time. Anyway, Kiefer says he wants to get her to a doctor, but first she tells him to "do what you have to do." Shoot her like a lame horse? No, he simply tries to dial Chloe on his cell phone, but it goes right to her voicemail. Audrey asks who else can help him, but he says nobody else has access to CTU's satellites. Nobody else still alive, anyway. And then there's the sound of another cell phone ringing. Kiefer follows the noise to the guard from Heller's Secret Service detail who was watching them when they were tied up in the hangar. The guard's dead now, of course, but luckily his cell phone battery isn't. Kiefer checks the caller ID, then answers, "This is Jack Bauer."

It's Heller, naturally, who wants to know why the hell Kiefer's answering his guard's phone. Kiefer has to explain that Henderson just blew through, killing Heller's guys and getting away with the recording. Heller asks if Audrey's all right, and Kiefer exaggerates that she is. "She's going to need a honkin' glass of orange juice, though," he doesn't add. Heller tells Kiefer that President Logan accepted his terms when he arrived at Not Camp David, but reneged after receiving a phone call. Kiefer figures the caller was Henderson. Heller offers to help get the recording back, but Kiefer doesn't think so: "With all due respect, Mr. Secretary, I asked you for help and you betrayed me." Drama-queeniness aside, I love how Kiefer always says "With all due respect" when he means, "Fuck you." And now even Heller falls victim to the curse of Kiefer ass-kissing: "I made a mistake," he begs. "Please forgive me." Except he says it all angry-like, and good for Bill Devane for not buying into this soapy dialogue. Kiefer just hangs up the dead guard's phone, because it's not like the Secretary of Defense is going to be able to help him with spy satellites or anything.

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