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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
Unlovely Rita
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Kiefer's in his helicopter, being flown to where Morris got nabbed by McCarthy and his girlfriend, Rita. He's also on the line with Chloe, trying to calm her down long enough to help him by telling her that Morris needs to be kept alive until he does what Fayed wants, which gives them some time. For once. Even so, Chloe's having trouble keeping it together; it's taking her a while to pull up the right satellite feed, and she snaps at Milo when he tries to help. He was kind of heckling her, but still.

In the Situation Room, Nadia hands Buchanan a report. They are both so sober and solemn that we quickly realize it's word of Graem's death. "Jack's on line 1," Nadia tells Buchanan, and leaves the room. Buchanan picks up the phone and quietly breaks the news to Kiefer. "What happened?" Kiefer asks into his headset. Buchanan says that they'll know more after an autopsy, but that it looks like the interrogation was "a factor." Ya think? Kiefer asks whether Dad knows, and Buchanan says that Dad was there. Buchanan doesn't know the half of it; Dad knew Graem was dead even before Graem did. As for Marilyn and Josh, they still don't know. Kiefer asks Buchanan to break the news to Marilyn for him, and Buchanan agrees. Sucker. He puts Kiefer on hold, because Milo's just entered the room to notify him that Chloe's off her game due to being worried about Morris. Buchanan hangs up and goes out to the floor to see what's going on with Chloe. Upon learning that she hasn't managed to activate the satellite uplink yet, he tries to help her clear her head. She whisper-screams at him, "Get away from me! There's not a problem! The only problem is people like you bothering me while I'm trying to do my job!" The geyser of blood now rocketing skyward in the spot where Buchanan's head used to be tells Chloe to get up and let Milo take over. Chloe reluctantly agrees, and Milo takes off his suit jacket to take her seat. Buchanan hits a button on Chloe's desk phone and tells Kiefer that Chloe's out and Milo's in. Mere seconds later, Milo has the satellite image of McCarthy stuffing Morris into the back of a silver Maserati thirteen minutes ago. He effortlessly tracks the McCarthyMobile to its current location, which he relays to Kiefer. Also, TAC teams will be intercepting McCarthy on the ground shortly. Well, that was easy.

Rita's driving the McCarthyMobile like a madwoman. Way to not attract attention. They don't even know where to go yet, so right now they're just waiting for Fayed to call and tell them where to take Morris. Rita says that she just wants this to be over. Morris says that it'll never be over: "CTU knows who you are. They're already looking for you." McCarthy tries to blow this off to calm Rita down, but Morris is like, "So you're not Darren McCarthy, arms dealer, subcontracted by BXJ Technologies?" McCarthy can't exactly deny it with Rita sitting right there. Instead of attempting some lame cover like, "No, I'm Darius McArthur, love machine, subcontracted to this lovely lady's skirt," he just tells Morris to shut up, because this doesn't change his plans: "If I'm already a marked man, I might as well get paid for it." And what about Rita, wonders Rita. McCarthy assures her that CTU doesn't even know she exists. He's just promising to take care of her when he hears the sound of the helicopter overhead. Opening the moon roof, he spots Kiefer's chopper just as Kiefer spots him. McCarthy directs Rita on an evasive course, driving all crazy and squealy at 1:06:05, but it's not like they're going to be able to evade both Kiefer's helicopter and Milo tracking them by satellite in real time. Even when McCarthy grabs the wheel and steers them into oncoming traffic. Rita shrieks in panic, even though this show totally doesn't have the budget to wreck a Maserati. After a series of near misses, the McCarthyMobile dives for refuge under a tangle of overpasses that Kiefer identifies as the 110 interchange. It disappears from aerial view under what looks like about ninety lanes of traffic and doesn't come out. Milo reports that there are no traffic cams there, and that the CTU TAC teams are still five minutes out. Kiefer tells his pilot to set him down right there, right now.

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