Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C | Grade It Now!
Glower, Cower, And Tower
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Watching the freeze-frames in the previouslies, I make the embarrassing discovery that Graham's name is actually spelled "Graem." I've been spelling it wrong all along. Not that it's embarrassing for me; I'm embarrassed for the writer who thought that parents who would name one child "Jack" would name the other "Graem." No wonder they turned out this way.

Wayne's presidential address is still going on, even though it started a few minutes before the hour. What was up with that, anyway? Did Wayne's press secretary used to work at MTV or something? We see that everyone at CTU has dropped what he or she is doing to watch the speech, while four stolen nuclear bombs presumably search for themselves. Wayne goes on about the strength and faith of the American people, and how we must rise above our bigotries and all that. DB Woodside is delivering the speech in this supposedly soothing singsong tone that I find quite distressing. Please stop talking to the country like it's five years old, Wayne. We get enough of that in real life. Also distressed is Wayne's Chief of Staff, Tom, who's watching the speech with Chad Lowe in another area of the White House Bunker. Tom turns off the monitor when Wayne has finished, and wishes the President hadn't made a promise he can't keep: "The American people have got to get used to the fact that these new security measures are a way of life, not some temporary Band-Aid." Which is scary as hell, but at least he admits it. Karen comes in to call Tom out on the latest raft of civil liberties violations he's been authorizing against Wayne's wishes. As Chad Lowe slips out unnoticed, Tom repeats his excuse that he's just getting things ready for when Wayne decides to implement them, "should he decide to act at all." Karen points out that Tom said the same thing about the detention centers, but those are already up and running. She wonders if Tom thinks she's some "bleeding-heart liberal." Tom goes into a whole speech about how the Constitution is great and all, but it was written in the days of single-shot muskets, not nuclear weapons like the one the terrorists just used to kill twelve thousand people in less time than it would have taken to reload one of those muskets: "I love the Constitution, but I won't be ducking behind it when the next nuke goes off." So presumably Tom's a gun-control hawk as well, right? Karen says that she's worried about the long-term damage Tom's policies will do to the country, and they start talking over each other like they're on Crossfire. Tom tells Karen to get out of National Security, while Karen accuses Tom of abusing Presidential power. Tom petulantly turns to leave the room, and Karen yells after him, "If you think that you're going to wear me down, you are sadly mistaken!" Tom stops at the door and wearily tells her, "Actually, you're wearing me down." Aw, poor fascist.

Tom then goes to find Chad Lowe in the hallway. Chad's yelling down his cell phone at someone, and when he gets off, Tom tells Chad that he needs Karen out of there now so that Wayne will sign off on all of Tom's insane plans. Chad says that he's working on it now. "This work you're doing for me doesn't go unnoticed," says Tom. Nice to see Chad Lowe getting thanked for once.

At CTU, Nadia's having some computer troubles. As Buchanan's walking by, she flags him down to complain that a new protocol requires all employees with Middle Eastern backgrounds to go through an extra layer of security, and that it's slowing her way down. Brilliant idea. This will make Nadia want to blow up the entire building, and then they can arrest her. Buchanan takes off his glasses sympathetically, but says that there's not much he can do about her plight right now. She wonders how she's supposed to get all of her time-sensitive work done in the face of these new obstacles, and Buchanan tells her just to chalk it up to one of the injustices that all Muslims working in counterterrorism have to face. Because God forbid you get too many Muslims in that field. That simply wouldn't do. Buchanan promises to take it up the chain of command later (as in, when it's not urgent anymore), and Nadia reluctantly accepts his decision. Poor showing from Buchanan here. I expected better. Changing the subject, Buchanan asks whether Nadia's heard from Kiefer. She hasn't, and offers to call him, but Buchanan says that there's no rush. Kiefer will call when he has anything.

1 2 3 4 5 6Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP