Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now!
That'll Do, Pig

Kiefer gets right through to Buchanan, who asks whether Kiefer's found McCarthy yet. Sure, rub it in. Kiefer says that he hasn't, but that he thinks he can find McCarthy through Graem. Buchanan says he thought Graem wasn't that deep into it, but Kiefer says that things have changed: "He didn't tell us everything. He just tried to have me and my father killed." That doesn't make sense; aren't evil masterminds supposed to tell you everything first? Kiefer tells Buchanan to have a perimeter set up around Graem's house, and to have recon confirm that he's at home before moving in. Not that they won't wait for Kiefer, of course, because he has to have his hands in everything, even when one of them is all yellow and crust. "And I want Burke [the Torture Guy] standing by with an interrogation kit," he adds. Aw, poor Kiefer. He's been a little out of touch. The last time he was at CTU, Burke managed to fry a vital suspect's brain, then get overpowered by a blown-up clinic victim, then turn out to be catastrophically wrong about his suspect's medical status, then wrongly torture a high-ranking Defense Department employee. And Kiefer thinks Burke still has a job after all that? The sad thing is that he's right. He's about to hang up, but Buchanan keeps him on the line to tell him something he already knows: McCarthy is their only lead to Fayed, and they need to find Fayed before he arms the nukes. You know, the unbelievable thing about this show isn't just that so many things happen in a single day. It's also that they happen despite the fact that everyone spends the first ten minutes of every hour talking like they just got dropped into the current situation. Kiefer hangs up the phone, and his dad tosses him the handcuff keys at 12:10:13 so that they can get out of there.

McCarthy and his girlfriend (on whom he now bestows the name Rita) are chilling in their hotel suite. Actually, McCarthy is working, having moved his laptop from the desk to the bed for some mysterious reason, and Rita's about to hit the vending machine in the lobby. McCarthy says that they'll be leaving soon. "You said that an hour ago," Rita says, even though they haven't been here for fifteen minutes. After she pouts off into another room of the suite, McCarthy pulls out his cell phone to notify Fayed that he's found a guy who can reprogram the remaining nuke triggers. "Who?" Fayed asks. Declining to supply a name over the phone -- which is kind of a giveaway that we're going to know the individual in question -- McCarthy says that he's just sent the man's entire CV to Fayed's computer. Glancing at his screen, Fayed seems satisfied with the candidate, even when McCarthy warns him, "He'll need to be coerced." McCarthy promises to deliver the guy within the hour, and then the coercion may presumably commence. It's 12:11:12.

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