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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
Wayne In Pain
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Fayed's panel truck with the suitcase nukes in the back drives down a remote dirt road. Fayed's also in the back with the payload. He's going to be so pissed if they hit a pothole and all three of them go off. He's on his cell phone with Gredenko, telling him he's on his way to the rendezvous point at which Gredenko has already arrived. It's an airplane junkyard that looks a lot like the bone yard from Con Air. Gredenko says that the "shipment" is behind schedule but should arrive at any moment. Fayed asks how long it'll take to deploy after that point. Gredenko tells him they'll need two hours for assembly and diagnostics, and another hour to attach the payload. Although he doesn't suggest that Fayed make use of the extra time to stop off for a beer. Fayed starts to bitch that this schedule puts us at, like, the end of March in terms of episodes, but Gredenko just tells him to stay frosty, and hangs up on him. "I'll be glad when we no longer have to deal with these people," Gredenko tells his tech guy. The tech guy sees that and raises him an "I'd rather be fighting them." Gredenko says that if things work out today, the Arabs and the West will destroy each other. Is that supposed to make me feel sorry for Fayed?

Down in the White House Bunker's Battle Bridge, Wayne's secretary Melinda tells Wayne that the ambassador from this morning has arrived and is ready for another meeting. Wayne asks Melinda if Tom will be joining them. Tom is of course still tied to one of the components of the steam pipe trunk distribution venue with duct tape on his mouth, but because Melinda doesn't know that, she relays whatever excuse Chad Lowe made up for Tom's temporary absence. Wayne greets the arriving ambassador, who begins by expressing his sincerest-seeming condolences about this morning's attacks, and offers his country's help. Wayne says that's why the ambassador is here, and leads him the conference room where Assad is waiting. The ambassador doesn't seem to appreciate being ambushed like this, and isn't happy to be in a room with a guy who organized terrorist attacks on his country. Dude, your country, as far as I can tell, is the entire Middle East. Try not to take it so personal. Assad looks like he's about to get into it with the guy, who points out, "My own deputy lost his seven-year-old son in one of your bombings." Huh, he was a lot more pro-Assad earlier today, before he actually met the guy. Wayne interrupts and tells them to play nice. He asks Assad to excuse them, and Assad leaves the room with his Secret Service escort in tow, having already served Wayne's purpose of blindsiding the ambassador with his presence. Wayne turns to the ambassador and explains why Assad is there, and about the remaining three nukes. The ambassador gets less grumpy in a hurry, because of course he's in this country, too. Wayne gives the ambassador his own copy of Assad's address to look over, and the ambassador admits that it just might work. Wayne asks the ambassador to have Mideastia's Prime Minister issue a statement supporting Assad. The Ambassador worries about the political risks of such a move, so Wayne advises him to worry instead about the more tangible risks of how pissed off the U.S. carrier group currently stationed off the Mideast-ian coast will be if there's another nuclear attack in the States. Wayne threatens, "Neither the Prime Minister nor I have the luxury of worrying about political consequences on a day like today....Get on the phone and make this happen. Oh, and this thing I'm handing you? That's your ass." I'm paraphrasing at the end there. Wayne's Secretary of State is going to be so annoyed when he gets back from vacation.

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