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Burned

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B | 2 USERS: A-
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Downstairs, Oliver tries to wring some comedy out of the idea that he can't pronounce "Zach Galifianakis" because he was gone for five years. Listen, man, the Comedians of Comedy show was seven years ago. If you don't keep up with the alt-comedy scene, that's on you. Anyway, Thea should be picking the movie, shouldn't she? Part of her job should be making sure Oliver gets caught up on the important pop-culture experiences of the last five years. Thea says that Moira became a shut-in after the shipwreck, and only Walter saved her. She has a theory that Walter's having a mid-life crisis instead of having been abducted.

And then! The television news (which has been on while they settle on a DVD) claims that the Starling Vigilante had been causing murders to drop 16 percent. I don't believe that. He was mostly dealing with white-collar criminals, and at least some of the murders were his fault. I guess the episodes where the Triads and the mob lost members probably had some effect. Thea comments, "Looks like everyone's disappeared." Everyone on this show acts like they know Oliver is the vigilante, but I don't think any of them are supposed to.

Laurel comes home to find Tommy. He has a note with "Reasons I deserve the drawer," but that discussion is immediately cut short by Joanna. She's at the door and she thinks Danny might have been murdered. Laurel says that when her sister Sarah died (on that boat with Oliver and his father, remember?), she researched the boat to try to prove it was sunk. But unlike Laurel, who was just grasping at straws, Joanna has actual evidence that shows her brother burning hotter than the actual fire. Of course, the shipwreck was also a setup, so Laurel doesn't seem like she's very good at research. She didn't even notice the boat being brought back to Starling City!

At the police station, Laurel tries to convince her father that there's a series of murders targeting firefighters. Her evidence is that there are traces of turpentine and ignition points higher than the fire. Detective Lance says the firefighters have their own internal processes, so he can't get involved. With alleged murder? Really? That seems odd. The police and fire departments should get on the same page. An officer brings over the phone that Oliver gave Detective Lance. It's allegedly clean of fingerprints and "the tech inside are military-grade." It's an iPhone! The police can't even trace the manufacturer, which seems really unlikely. I mean, considering that it's clearly an iPhone. But even if it weren't, is this something Oliver learned to make on the island? Laurel is left alone with the phone.

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