Big Brother

Episode Report Card
Joe R: C+ | Grade It Now!

Kail's secret HoH interview is as dull and useless as any of those HoH interviews are, times three due to the fact of Kail's pre-existing dullness and uselessness.

There's a segment about Eric's family and friends reacting to Eric being America's Player. Eric's brother and parents reveal what we already might have guessed: Eric is a Big Brother freak who's watched all the seasons and knows it inside and out. The friends and fam are really not that psyched to find out Eric is America's Player, mostly because they think it's going to fuck up his strategy. They do acknowledge the bright side that the viewing audience is more likely to support him now, though fat lot of good that will do him if their decisions run him afoul of the house. In the Diary Room, Eric prepares to cast his America-provided vote for eviction. Before he does, he tells us the only reason to keep Carol around is that she's weak; Amber, meanwhile, is someone he could end up forming a bond with. Lucky for Eric, America has directed him to vote out Carol. She's so done, you guys.

The pre-eviction speeches feature Amber getting all teary and Carol getting ready to go say hello to Julie, because even she knows she's going. And, indeed, by a 10-1 vote, Carol is evicted. That one vote, I'm guessing, came from Joe? This would be the danger of the "lie low" strategy, I suppose. Out on the couch with Julie, Carol is still reluctant to get into a whole catfighty thing about Jessica, so Julie shows a clip package featuring Jessica talking mad shit about Carol and essentially revealing herself to be the petty, squeaky-voiced asshole we've all grown to loathe. This being the equivalent of Julie firing her six-shooter at Carol's feet, she starts to dance. She's like, "Yeah, like I said, she's spoiled and annoying and is still reliving high school." Man, I really could have liked Carol if she'd stuck around. She gets sweet goodbye messages from Joe and Amber, along with a passive-aggressive one from Jessica (natch), and a strange one from Zach that says her heart was her weakness. My fear of being in the same house with Zach and his giant mouth of Billy Bob Thornton teeth would end up being my weakness, I think.

The HoH competition is the usual trivia quiz, this time the kind where your answer has to be the answer that the majority of the group chose or else you're out. Zach is the only one who'd rather slather butter onto Jen than Daniele, so he's out. So either Zach is very stupid or very unsubtle about throwing challenges, because: Jen? Jen who nobody likes? Dick, Daniele, and Nick are all eliminated when they say they'd forbid their little sister from dating Mike rather than Nick. Mmm hmm, that's interesting. Nick doesn't think anyone's noticed what a man ho he's been, while Daniele...hasn't noticed what a man ho he's been. Everyone says Joe would be more prone to cheating on his boyfriend than Dustin would. Cold comfort for Dustin the Clap-Giver, but that has to be a little gratifying. Jameka's the only one who thinks Dick would hold on to a grudge longer than Daniele, so she's out. Amber is deservedly eliminated for thinking Jessica would be better at cheering people up than Eric. Was that one of those things where God gave her the wrong answer to make her stronger? More people think Kail could spin $500,000 into $5 million than Zach, and you can see Kail tense up at the thought of people seeing through her attempts to disguise her secret life as a "multiple business owner." Jessica and Mike are eliminated.

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Big Brother




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