Big Brother
In Name Only

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C+ | 30 USERS: B+
The Biggest Gainer

It's time for the Have-Have Not competition, for which the backyard has been converted into a giant frozen yogurt shop. One wall has a series of soft-serve dispensers with each of the three teams getting one spigot that delivers vanilla-chocolate twist and another that pumps out anchovy-habanero twist. I'm not against trying new things, but I think I'd prefer the vanilla-chocolate twist. Each team has to eat as much as possible, which will be determined by weighing each team both before and after the competition. And no, they aren't dressed in a way that will allow them to conceal yogurt in their clothes, if you know what I mean.

As the orange team (Spencer, Candice, Jessie, and Andy) steps on the scale for a starting weight of 704.4 pounds, Andy DRs about being a Have-Not for two out of three weeks and wanting no more part of that. The blue team (Kaitlin, GinaMarie, Aaryn, and Helen -- the four smallest people in the house, in other words) weighs in at 507.6, while the green team (Amanda, McCrae, Elissa, and Howard) total at 635.4. Amanda says they need to win so she and McCrae can get out of the Have-Not room and function. "And sleep in the same bed, "she giggles. What, they haven't joined the mile-high club in the have-not room?

The horn blows, and two people form each team rush forward, put their mouths directly under the dispensers, and start eating. It's gross to watch regardless of the flavor they're eating. GinaMarie in particular has her mouth wide open to receive a moist, girthy, throbbing shaft of thick cream that forces itself relentlessly down her throat. I bet a lot of comments from the other houseguests were edited out, but even the visual alone is downright filthy. I'm surprised she doesn't come up saying, "That's for you, Nick" while wiping her chin.

The horn blows again, and the two players on each team who sat out the first round take their teammates' places. Then they switch again, with each player eating the opposite flavor they did the first time. Except Amanda, who takes one taste of the anchovy habanera and balks, saying she's going to throw up. Her teammates are frustrated, but it won't do them any good if she empties her stomach into the yard either, including the vanilla-chocolate and her entire lunch. Spencer's beard is full of the stuff, and GinaMarie keeps sucking it down hard, regardless of flavor. Watching at home, Nick thinks, My God, this changes everything! Aaryn spits out a mouthful, saying she's going to throw up if she eats it. Eating and gagging continues until time runs out.

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Big Brother




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