Big Brother
Lamer Vs. Lamerer

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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He Blinded Me With Science

Previously: Julie acted like there was some big twist, but really the twist was that they are playing Big Brother. Everybody is so crazy by this point that they acted like that was an actual twist. Ye old Julie Chen bait-and-switch, like when you realized that the Diamond Power of Veto was actually just Regular Veto plus Math.

Rachel is still the definition of petty, Adam is still Desperation Personified, Brendon is still a human piece of bologna, Jordan still lets Jeff pretend he's the smart one, and Daniele is HoH. Jeff & Jordan took Daniele's week of safety deal, and Daniele put Rachel & Brendon, who never met a PoV they couldn't crush between their gross fake breasts, on the block. But will Daniele's Big Move blow up in her face like usual?

COLOR! DAY 28

Brendon: "My idiosyncratic version of masculinity dictates that I take Rachel off the block."
Jeff: "Even though I wouldn't shut up about how Daniele was going to fuck me over because it's all personal and it's all about me, now I can say that I knew all along I'd be safe. Unless she backdoors me, in which case I am going to say I knew she'd do that."
Adam: "I wish I knew what having friends was like."
Rachel, already crying: "Guess what girl, I've got news for you. Guess what, I'm the future King of England. Guess what, I have no idea what I'm doing. Ever. Guess what, I am the fucking worst."

POWER COUPLES MEETING

Brendon: "Even though I'm obviously the target, I'm going to take you off the block when I win PoV. That's just what a man does for his despicable lady."
Rachel: "I can't help thinking this is because I'm pretty."
Jordan: "I can barely contain my feelings of satisfaction at this juncture."
Rachel: "Jeff, your paranoia rivals my own. Let's say this is all about getting you or Brendon out of the house."
Jeff: "Even though we made a deal and Daniele followed through, I will take that bait."
Rachel: "As long as we understand that this is mostly about me."

Kathy: "Hey guys, anybody need their shoes shined?"
Power Couples: "Nah, Adam already licked them earlier."
Brendon: "We demonized Kalia, and her nonexistent threat was neutralized by my hulking misogyny. We demonized Cassi and Dominic, and they were so grossed out by us that they practically left of their own accord. Now, the enemy is Daniele."
Rachel: "I know. She's so stupid."
Brendon: "At least we're still getting married, Rachel."
Earth: "Please don't remind us."

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Big Brother

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