Big Brother
Last Wil and Testament

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
Kiss Off

Out in the studio, Julie asks Wil why he's there instead of Joe, and Wil says it's about bigger threats, then remembers that might sound a bit immodest. Julie asks him about his "aloof" meeting with Mike and Frank earlier in the week, and Wil says he didn't want to offend anyone's secret allies. That didn't work out so well.

We go right to the farewell messages. Joe yells at Wil about going against his whole team and adds, "SEE YA, JACK! YOU'RE OUTTA HERE!" Dan claims he wanted to work with Wil to go after Frank and Mike, but his emotions got the better of him. Ashley says she'll miss him, and says he should have kissed more ass. Or more HoH face, as the case may be. Mike actually says he wishes he could have coached Wil, who he thinks could have coasted to the final five just by being the funny guy had his emotions not gotten the better of him.

Julie informs Wil of the existence of the Silent Six ("The Silent Six, puh-leease," Wil scoffs) before dismissing him to be interviewed by Mister Dotcom waiting in the wings.

It's almost time for the HoH competition, but first Julie reminds us that there's still the matter of the Tweet-vote results. She gets on the PA to the backyard -- where the nine non-Frank players are each positioned at the end of a long, slippery-looking lane of his or her own-- and tells them about the competition.

Each player's lane has a barrel of liquid and a small measuring cup at one end, and a big gumball machine at the other that's empty except for one cork. The players will have to shuttle back and forth, filling the glass globe with liquid from the barrel, a half-cup at a time, until the cork floats high enough that they can fish it out through the tiny hole in the top. Which we have of course seen before. But the new wrinkle is that each player also has two smaller jugs, also with floatable corks inside, one marked "SAFETY" and one marked "$10K." The first player to fill his or her "Safety" jug cannot be nominated or evicted this week, and of course the $10K is the temptation that Twitter voted to offer them. Which I still think is boring, especially because Mike reacts like that cash is already his. Julie adds that anyone who wins either temptation is automatically not eligible to win HoH, and as soon as anyone wins HoH, the temptations are off the table. This could get complicated. Julie has to ask twice if everyone's ready before telling them to go.

The competition begins, and houseguests skate unsteadily down their lanes at varying speeds. Slipping on her way back, Danielle tries to use a lane marker to pull herself back uphill to the barrel until Julie says that's against the rules. Someone might have thought of that earlier.

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Big Brother




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