Big Brother
Target Practice

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
Infectious Whining

Porsche's up against Shelly next, and puts in onions because she doesn't know what they taste like. I'm thinking that if Porsche makes a habit of basing her actions on things she doesn't know, she's going to be a very busy girl. Shelly's main challenge is that Porsche's mixture is too thick to actually drink, but she correctly guesses that carrots are in it. Porsche correctly guesses beets and dill pickles, so she beats Shelly, even after Jeff gave Shelly a correct answer that Shelly ignored.

The last round is Jordan vs. Daniele, although first it's a battle between Jordan and Jordan's gag reflex. Daniele and Jordan both get one right, so it's another chug-off tiebreaker. Daniele wins it, so the Red Team of her, Porsche, Adam, and Lawon are haves, making Jordan, Jeff, Rachel, and Shelly the Have-Nots. Jordan looks pretty sad about it, mainly as a result of feeling like she let her team down, but Shelly is smiling contentedly like this was her plan all along. Who the hell throws a H/HN competition, though? The Have-Not menu turns out to be coconuts and catfish, which they're actually relatively happy about. Except Jordan, who's still a weepy, red-faced mess.

In the Have-Not room, Jeff tries to buck up Jordan, who's getting bitter about how people like Porsche and Lawon are just coasting along. Well, why the hell shouldn't they, if everyone else is fighting amongst themselves? Wait for the dust to settle. Jordan figures she, Jeff, and Rachel are the only real players, "And you and Rachel are just gonna get picked off." Love the implicit assumption that she's safe because everyone loves her, which probably isn't wrong. And then all her sadness about their long-term prospects in the game comes back around to "I should have known sauerkraut."

Kalia asks Shelly to come upstairs to the HoH room to figure out who Shelly's playing with. Shelly says she wants to play with Kalia, which would be a lot more convincing if she didn't have to be dragged up to HoH to say so, and adds that she won't put Kalia up if she wins. Shelly even floats the idea of going to final three with Kalia and Daniele, and then in the DR says she's doing that with Jeff and Jordan, but Kalia and Daniele are her backup plan. This can only spell doom for Kalia, Daniele, Jeff, and Jordan. That Hunting Mom is radioactive, and nobody even knows it.

Jordan and Jeff visit Kalia in the HoH room, and Kalia says neither of them is her target, but she wants a strong player to go up against her for PoV to make sure Rachel doesn't win it and save herself. Jordan goes off on Kalia, reminding her that if she nominates Jeff and Rachel, both of them are going to come after her, whichever one comes back. Jordan storms out, and Jeff says that if Rachel wins, he's going home. Jeff also tells Kalia that she's his target now, whether he wins the veto, loses it and stays anyway, or loses it and gets evicted and comes back, plus Rachel will also be after Kalia, not to mention Jordan. Jeff even repeats a little about what Jordan was saying earlier regarding all the people in the house who haven't been doing anything, like Kalia's going to turn on any of these defenseless newbies. After chewing her out good and proper, he stomps out as well, leaving Kalia flabbergasted. Well, that went well. How did she think he was going to take it?

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Big Brother




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