Big Brother
The Fierce Five and the Farce Five

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
McKayla is Not Impressed, and We Don't Blame Her

They all pose for a group photo making McKayla's famous "not impressed" face together before Shane and Danielle get to watch what looks like a dress rehearsal of their show from the suite level. They don't even get seats? They snuggle in the limo on the way back to the house in the dark, and Danielle is loving the date, not least because Shane is actually acting like her boyfriend for once. They share a quick kiss in the back of the limo, but it stops faaaar short of No Way Out. Then they get to go back to the house with their promotional towels and Corn Flakes and tell everyone else about it. Some of the other houseguests are not impressed.

Dan pretends to have been bereft without Danielle in the house, hoping to confirm their alliance, but after their "date," Danielle is torn between her head and her heart when it comes to Dan and Shane. Or her head and something lower than her heart, as the case may be.

Shane contemplates the memory wall, looking absolutely adorbs in his pink shirt tucked into plaid shorts, saying he's got to look out for himself, even though his replacement nominee will have to be a fellow Quack Packer. Dan is hoping Ian will put up Danielle in Shane's place, making Dan a lock for the final four. Shane calls the Veto meeting and saves himself, then calls upon Ian to pick the replacement nominee. Who is, believe it or not, Danielle. So much for the Veto meeting. Then we're back live, and Julie asks us from the studio whether it'll be Danielle or Jenn going home. Then there's an interminable America's Vote segment telling us we can text our vote for America's Favorite Houseguest, who will win $25,000. Fifteen is a lot of numbers to have to sit through on TV, y'all. Fifteen? Yeah, there's no mention of Willie whatsoever. I guess because they have to give the others a chance at the prize.

Coming back, Julie gets on the viewscreen to the living room, where the final five are once again gathered after a frantic half-hour of primping. Julie gives Jenn and Danielle a chance to make their speeches, and Jenn basically compliments everyone (if saying "Ian" counts as a compliment to him) and pretty much says her goodbyes. Danielle also loves "y'all," and the short voting process begins. As you know, it's only Shane and Dan left to vote, unless there's a tie that Ian needs to break. Shane obviously votes to evict Jenn, and so does Dan. Julie "breaks" the "news" of the 2-0 vote to the reassembled houseguests in the living room, and Jenn hugs everyone on her way out, reminding them that the winner is in this room. "Don't forget to burn this place down," she adds. If only.

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Big Brother




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