Sunday

Mike wins a silly HoH competition, and with it a ticket to F3. Erika actually thinks that he's going to nominate Will in addition to Janelle, in part because being nominated will make her feel like it was a "ho-mance." Mike says that he cares about her far too much for that, which he doesn't at all. He admits that he's going to hell for what he's doing to her, as if that somehow makes it less disgusting. Which it doesn't. While Janelle is just playing around with Will and knows he has a girlfriend, Erika appears to actually like Mike, and he specifically talks to her about how great it's going to be when they get out of there and so forth. He is coming off like the biggest piece of crap ever, and it's only getting worse. Anyway, everyone knows that what really matters this week is PoV, so it's all kind of inconsequential, which is why we have to watch a lot of footage of stuff like Erika and Mike talking about having babies. Gross. But Mike puts the two women up anyway, and it's not clear, but it looks like the plan is to evict Erika. Why Mike would go along with that I do not know, but it looks like Will has the reins as usual.

Tuesday

Erika and Janelle are on the block, but after Janelle wins again, Will goes up. Seeing her fate begin to look grim, and somehow disillusioned by her relationship with Mike (hard to imagine), Erika decides to take matters into her own hands. She approaches Janelle and pounds on her for a while, trying to get the message across that they're both being played by Mike and Will. Shockingly enough, it actually works, especially after the women finally compare notes and find that they've been told exactly the same things about being secret Chill Town ninjas. Once they start to talk, Will very quickly catches on that he's in trouble, although Mike is sure that "those bitches" won't steal the show. But steal it they do, as Janelle boots Will, a development that Will takes pretty much in stride, but that leaves Mike literally slack-jawed on the living room couch. (Looks good on you, punk.) In the HoH competition that follows, which would normally be about endurance, Mike immediately steps down, taunting Erika and Janelle about how they both have to take him to F2, so he doesn't need to compete. He is really, really pissed off, which is awesome. Unfortunately for her, Janelle is so surprised when Mike drops out that she takes her hand off the key she's supposed to be holding, and Erika immediately wins, making it not very much of an "endurance" competition. Oh, and at the jury house, Howie is emerging as a villainous bully, because he is precisely the kind of person who is only a fun guy when things are going his way. So your F3 are Janelle, Erika, and Mike. He's convinced he goes to F2 no matter what -- we'll see.

Thursday

One of the things that makes reality television completely freaking fascinating is the tragedy-of-the-commons aspect, in which people gradually pick off everyone who could beat them late in the game -- meaning everyone likable -- in order to improve their individual chances of winning. The result tends to be an end-game combination of people who were able to stay in through brute strength by winning competitions (see: repeat immunity winners on Survivor), people who were able to stay in because they were considered so unlikable that no one would vote for them, and people who were able to stay in because they did so little that they were never considered to be threats. None of these people are necessarily the ones who anyone thinks should win. It's a show in which theoretically, the players choose the winner -- not only at the end, but week after week throughout the season. Nevertheless, they almost always wind up putting themselves in a position where they are choosing between two potential winners they don't want. Because, see, the final two are Erika and Mike, because Janelle biffs the final competitions and Mike doesn't think he can beat her in a final, so he takes Erika. Erika, who is embarrassing herself and everyone else by appearing to have forgotten everything she knew three days ago about how revolting, deceptive, dishonest, and unsanitary Mike is and putting her mouth on him voluntarily. Mike, who sits right down and tells us -- without irony -- that he has used this "ho" for all she was "good for," and now he's done with her. It's tempting to look at this final two in terms of who deserves more emphatically to be cursed with the loss, especially because it's hard to accept the idea that Mike will do this and there will be no punishment. But of course, the fact of the matter is that whether he does or doesn't win half a million dollars -- he probably will -- being himself is his punishment. The punishment for being empty is emptiness, not poverty. The punishment for inability to feel the things that normal people feel is numbness, not losing at this or any other game. The punishment for antisocial behavior is your alienation from all social structure, not the experience of shame. Enjoy that convertible, though. I'm sure it will make the harm you've knowingly done a lot easier for your mother to stomach.