Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: C+ | 4 USERS: C+
Hell is in the eye of the beholder

Buffy's at the Family Home door, explaining to some goon in a hilariously unconvincing way, "You know, I just -- I woke up and I looked in the mirror and I thought, 'Hey! What's with all the sin?' I need to change. I'm -- I'm dirty. I'm, I'm bad, with the sex, and the -- envy, and that loud music us kids listen to nowadays." Ha! The goon's borrowed Willow's "bored now" expression, and Buffy laments, "Oh, I just suck at undercover. Where's Ken?" The goon tries to shut the door, but Buffy kicks it away and enters.

Lily reaches a hand into the water, which really looks more like tar. Buffy enters and demands an explanation. Lily asks what's going on, but then the tar sucks her into the pool. Buffy tries to follow, but Ramon tangles her up and they both fall in, right through the tar into a room below. Buffy attends to Lily, while Ramon, back to the camera, yells, "My face!" He looks up as he removes his face and hair, and whinges, "Do you have any idea how hard it is to glue this thing on?" Underneath, he looks a lot like Rev. Cloutier post-explosion, but with ridges on his face and red contacts. He calls for the guards, and Buffy and Lily take off. The round a corner and stop short at the edge of a platform to see a hellish-looking forge. In the shadows, they see young men and women, all dressed in the same style of smock as Lily, working as slaves. Some are being whipped by demon guards. Buffy and Lily take it in, horrified, and Ramon appears. He slugs Buffy with a club, knocking her out, and informs Lily, "You're never leaving."

Commercial for Apt Pupil. I didn't see it, but I read the book, and boy, it doesn't get much creepier than that.

Graveyard. Cordy and Xander are still bitching when they hear a scream from Willow. The others rush to her aid. Xander holds a stake to the vamp's heart, but can't get enough leverage to drive it home until Cordy tackles the two of them. That's enough to dust the vamp and leave Cordy lying on top of Xander; conveniently, the stake dissolves as well, or Cordy would have been impaled. Overly dramatic music plays as Cordy and Xander mack. Sorry, but -- bored now.

Buffy, in pain from Ramon's blow, comes to slowly. Lily gives a speech about how she knew she'd end up here. Where? "Hell." Oh. Well, that kind of sucks. Buffy: "This isn't hell." In a way, that's too bad, because it would give Buffy a chance to bump into Angel. That would have potential for a really hilarious conversation if they both played it cool, with a stale quip or two. It might go something like this:

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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