Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Becoming, Part I

Episode Report Card
10 USERS: A+
Becoming, Part I

I don't know what possessed Ace and me to agree to recap these episodes from the second season. I somehow forgot that they're essentially clinical depression in a box set. I'm sick of coming home from work and spending a couple of hours snuffling in front of the television trying to finish the recap but instead crying myself to sleep. On the other hand, the Kleenex and Sudafed people are my new best friends. And mad props to Kozmo.com for bringing it all right to my door.

A dark, wet cobblestone street. Titles on the screen read "Galway 1753." A man rides a horse through a small city square ringed with houses. Whistler, the demon we don't meet until later in this episode, voice-overs: "There's moments in your life that make you, that set the course of who you're gonna be. Sometimes they're little, subtle moments. Sometimes -- they're not. I'll show you what I mean." Two disheveled youths are tossed out of a pub: Angel and a buddy. Angel proposes stealing some of his father's silver to continue their drinking binge, but his friend just groans and passes out on the street. Is there even anything new to say about David Boreanaz's atrocious Irish accent that hasn't already been said numerous times on MBTV? I didn't think so. Angel, all pigtailed and sideburned, gestures vaguely at his unconscious buddy and glances around. He sees a blonde woman in an elaborate hairstyle and dress standing in an alleyway. She smiles invitingly and disappears around a corner. Angel, ever rico y suave, gives the lady his best Galway pick-up line: " So, I ask meself: What's a lady of your station doing alone in an alley with the reputation that this one has?" Darla, for it is she and we can't pretend we don't know, heaves her corseted bosom and smiles, "Maybe she's lonely." Angel tipsily offers himself as her escort, and Darla smirks and breathily flirts with him. Apparently, "with the exception of an honest day's work," Angel is up to any challenge, and so approaches Darla and calls her a "pretty thing." She tells him she's from "around" and offers to show him the world. Angel seems entranced and agrees to have her show him her world. Darla instructs him to close his eyes, changes to her vampire visage, and bites his neck. Angel swoons to the ground, and Darla seals the deal by slashing open the flesh above her bodacious bosom and forcing Angel's mouth onto the blood that pools there. He looks shocked but begins to drink.

Vampires in the Buffyverse seem to smirk a lot, don't they? I guess eternal life and murderous power over humans makes you one smug bastard. Anyway, in the present day Angelus lurks in the bushes and smirks. It appears he's spying on the Buffster as she fights a number of vampires in one of Sunnydale's many cemeteries. She eliminates two of the enemy and tells the third to take a message to Angel: "Tell him I'm done waiting. I'm taking the fight to him." But the vamp just charges her, so she's forced to stake him and mumble that she'll tell Angel herself. In the bushes, Angelus observes and smiles happily. As Buffy leaves the graveyard, she gives a hand up to Xander, who has been lying on the ground hidden behind a headstone for this whole scene. Xander notes they've encountered five vampires in the last three nights but haven't found Angel yet. Buffy replies that she "wants it over with him"; Xander understands. They leave chatting about studying for finals and Buffy mentions that "it will all be over soon," meaning school. "Yes, my love, it will," smirks Angelus, who seems to be wearing a lot of concealer on his lips to give him an extra un-dead air that Angel never had. 'Cause when he had a soul, he needed inviting lips for Buffy kissage.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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