Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Bewitched, Bothered And Bewildered

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 7 USERS: B+
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Got The Love

Buffy and Joyce are watching TV when there's a knock at the door. Buffy answers it, but no one appears to be around. When she returns to the living room, Joyce is gone. Buffy wanders through the house, and eventually Joyce startles her by entering through the back door, carrying a long black box. Buffy opens it to find several long-stemmed roses, with a card that simply says, "Soon." Joyce regards her expectantly, but Buffy looks like she's going to be sick. He sent her flowers? How menacing! I would have understood her reaction a lot more had he sent her chocolate. Encouraging her to eat? That's devilry.

Back at the Bronze, Cordy is sitting pensively when Xander, tired of waiting, gets up and discovers her. In a flat voice, she notes that he looks great, and they really do make quite a photogenic couple here. Xander gives her a rather impassioned -- and, under the circumstances, articulate -- speech about how he thinks their relationship might be more than just hormones. Aw. Cordy looks ill. Xander administers the coup de grace by giving her a jewelry box. She opens it, and upon seeing the heart necklace, sincerely says that it's beautiful. She continues, "I want to break up." Now that is a brutal display. Take notes, Angelus. Xander's predictably stunned, but she explains that they're just not a good fit, a sentiment with which I don't really agree. Xander: "Do you know what's a good day to break up with somebody? Any day besides Valentine's Day! I mean, what, were you running low on dramatic irony?" Look at that -- extreme bitterness turned him into The Voice Of The Recapper. Amazing how that works. Cordy tries to apologize, but Xander, extremely hurt, leaves. Aw.

In the hall the next day, some no-neck greets Xander, "Dude! Way to get dumped." Salt, meet open wound. Xander sees Buffy, but she blows by him in favor of talking to Giles about Angelus's gift. A couple of random girls snicker at Xander. Shut up, Random Girls. I know I crack on him all the time, but I consider him family. Plus, I get paid for it. Next up is Harmony: "Gee, Xander, maybe you should learn a second language so that even more girls can reject you." I wouldn't be surprised to learn that this hallway is called "The Gauntlet." Cordy, sitting next to Harmony, looks down at Xander's shoes. For once, it's out of shame and not a desire to buy him new ones. Xander hurries up and catches hold of Amy's arm, and threatens to tell their teacher about the little spell she cast. Amy tells him that that's mean, and Xander replies that blackmail is an ugly word. Amy: "I didn't say 'blackmail.'" Xander: "Yeah, but I'm about to blackmail you, so I thought I'd bring it up." Hee. He tells her that for once he wants to come out ahead, and have the Hellmouth work for him. He glances over at Cordy. "You and me, Amy, we're gonna cast a little spell." Geez, with all that leadup, I thought he come up with a bigger idea. I mean, given "Superstar," couldn't he have stretched his imagination just a little? A few extra bucks couldn't hurt, right?

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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