Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Bewitched, Bothered And Bewildered

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Couch Baron: B+ | 7 USERS: B+
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Sorry for the diversion, but I'm finding it difficult to crack on Xander too much in this episode, and since he's normally my go-to man, I had to get a little creative. Anyway, Xander swaggers into school and heads over to Cordelia, who's apparently regained her social standing. Cordy doesn't show any signs of being different, but Xander doesn't really take the hint until she asks if he's going "Stalker Boy." Chastened, he leaves, and Cordy wonders what his deal is. From your point of view, Cordy, I'd think he's doing okay for someone who got his heart ripped out two nights before. You'd be proven wrong, of course, but why not take things as they come?

In the library, Giles tells Buffy about the time Angel nailed a puppy to some girl's door. Yeesh. Buffy, steely resolve of the previous day gone, tells him to skip it. Xander enters and complains about his life. Buffy opines that what happened is Cordy's loss, and suggests that they hang out that evening and comfort each other. Xander jokingly asks if lap-dancing will be included. Buffy takes way too long a pause to respond: "Play your cards right." Yuck. Xander looks like this situation has, to quote Angela Chase, become a little too "actual," and Buffy continues, "It's funny how you can see someone every day but not really see them." Buffy and Xander start to lean in, but they're interrupted by Amy's appearance. She and Xander exit the library to talk. She tells Xander that the spell didn't work out right. Xander looks back in at Buffy, and spouts some platitudes at Amy while looking about as satisfied as Garfield in a lasagna factory. He pauses, however, when Amy suggests they hang out, and at the point where she starts to parrot Buffy's line about seeing a person every day, the metaphorical bucket of cold water has seeped down from his head and soaked his pants. Some girl with hair out of Pleasantville interrupts to ask Xander to study that night, and a girl asking him for academic help is pretty much the two-column proof that something is rotten in the state of Sunnydale. Just to seal the deal, The Violins Of Wackiness start to play. Not quite as wacky as an accordion, but again, you can't have everything.

Xander enters his bedroom and tries to collect himself. He sits down on his bed, but Willow pops up out of the covers, saying she wanted to surprise him. Xander: "Good job!" Heh. Willow tries to seduce him with a "friendships change" speech, but doesn't really alter her Willow persona at all to do it, which, from Xander's point of view, has to be extremely traumatic. Getting seduced by someone you associate with your Sesame Street or Romper Room years has to be a very short trip to the shrink's office. Willow tells him she wants him to be her first. I'm feeling like therapy of my own may be necessary after seeing this. She tells him not to worry about Oz, and kisses him and nibbles on his ear. Yup, I'm going to be literalizing my moniker posthaste. Xander does the next best thing: He turns tail and runs. Hee. Just be glad it wasn't Phoebe, Xander.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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