Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Sep: B+ | 3 USERS: A-
They fight. And fight.

Spike's crypt. Spike climbs up a ladder from somewhere below to find Dawn waiting for him. He tries to shoo her away because he has "bad evil things to do. That are not for a child's eyes." In a hard voice Dawn reminds him that she's not a human. Spike philosophizes, "Well I was. I got over it. It doesn't seem to me it matters very much how you start out." Y'all get what they're saying there, right? I don't need to break it down for you? Oh good, because if I get hit over the head with that line one more time on rewind, I'm going to start rivaling Giles, the current record-holder for "most likely to lose consciousness during any given episode." Dawn butters Spike up saying that she likes the way he talks to her, but then causes Spike to choke on his smoke when she claims that she "feels safe with [him]." She quickly amends that to "you have that whole superpower thing," and then distracts him by mentioning how even Buffy thinks that he's tough. Spike, all not at all casual, asks Dawn to tell him what else Buffy says about him.

At the Summers home, Buffy comes home to find Joyce worried because Dawn isn't home from school yet. Buffy is on the case and leaves again immediately to search for Dawn.

Back at the crypt, Spike is telling a transfixed and fascinated Dawn a lovely little story about how he massacred a helpless family. Y'know, just to remind everyone how Spike has done some Very Bad Things. Just in case we're getting complacent and starting to believe that he's good just because he's chipped. Right when he's getting to the part where he hears a little girl in the coal bin and is about to rip her throat out, Buffy storms in, ostensibly to ask for Spike's assistance in looking for Dawn, but really it's just to force a confrontation and move the plot along. She stops short when she sees her missing sister, and Dawn insists that Buffy let Spike tell the "really cool part" of the story before Buffy gets with the lecture. Ugh. I'm somewhat disturbed by that, but then I used to be heavily into the "true crime" genre at that age too. Although I don't know that I would've willingly sat down with Charles Manson and described his stories of brutal slayings as "really cool." With a steely tone, Buffy agrees: "Let's hear the story that Spike is telling my little sister." Spike, realizing that Buffy probably wouldn't approve of the truth, says, "Right. So. I knew the girl was in the coal bin. I rip it open, very violent, haul her out of there and then, I give her to a good family, in a nice home where they're never, ever mean to her and didn't lock her in a coal bin." Dawn pronounces the ending lame, and Spike tries to get in good with Buffy, but she doesn't respond except to tell Dawn to gather her things together.

Walking back home through the cemetery, Buffy lectures Dawn about making stupid decisions. Buffy warns her that hanging out with Spike is "dangerous and icky." Twirling a lock of hair around her finger, Dawn, in her role this episode as voice of the Buffy fan, says, "I don't think Spike's icky." Apparently because he's "got cool hair and wears cool leather coats and stuff." Buffy stops and proclaims that Dawn has a crush on Spike. Buffy reminds her that Spike is a murderer as well as being "dead and evil and a vampire." Dawn plays the Angel card in retaliation, but Buffy protests that Angel was "different," although if she really wanted to make a case, she could've pointed out how Buffy and Angel aren't exactly together now anyway. Dawn equates the having of a soul with the having of a chip, and please please please don't get me started on how incorrect that is. Anyway, the upshot is that Dawn spills the beans about Spike having a crush on Buffy, and Buffy gives Dawn the blankest blank look in Blankonia.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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