Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Sep: B+ | 3 USERS: A-
They fight. And fight.

Moments later, she climbs back up into Spike's crypt and finds Spike waiting for her, with blood from his feed still on his lips. "See anything interesting?" menaces Spike, and advances on the flustered Slayer. Buffy backs away and asks what happened; from the shadows, Dru responds, "Me," and zaps Buffy with a cattle prod. Spike cuddles Dru and, wearing his Captain Obvious cap, tells Buffy that Dru has come back to him. At this Dru gloats; telling Buffy she knows what Spike really wants to eat, Dru zaps her again with the cattle prod. This is every girl's worst nightmare, isn't it? That the creepy guy you don't want to date will sic his crazy, second-sighted vampire ex-girlfriend on you once you reject him? Well, okay, maybe not every girl's nightmare, but we can all sympathize, I'm sure. Dru turns to Spike, suggesting they tie Buffy up and play with her. "I'm through playing," grumps Spike. "Ooh, I like it when you're all dour and straight-to-business like," coos Dru. But hey, she's in for a surprise, because Spike takes the cattle prod and zaps her too. Still think electricity lies, Dru honey?

Buffy slowly comes to and finds herself standing with her arms chained to the walls of the cave underneath Spike's crypt. Spike stands in front of her. When Buffy asks, "Dru? Drusilla?" Spike waggles his eyebrows and steps aside, revealing that Dru is bound to a post nearby. Dru chides Spike for changing the rules of the game, but he tells her, "Sorry, pet. My house, my rules." Stepping back in front of Buffy, Spike tells her he's going to "prove something." "I love you," he continues, but Buffy crinkles her nose in disgust and turns her head. He grabs her face, demanding that she looks at him, and repeats, "I love you. You're all I bloody think about. Dream about. You're in my gut, my throat. I'm drowning in you Summers, I'm drowning in you." As he delivers this impassioned speech, Dru begins to giggle behind him. Spike tells Dru he can do "without the laugh track," but she just natters on that she knew he loved the Slayer long before he knew it himself. Talking over Dru, Spike once again insists to Buffy that there's something between them -- he knows Buffy feels something for him. She tells him what she feels is revulsion, and that Spike can't love, as he has no soul. "Oh we can, you know," breaks in Dru. "We can love quite well; if not wisely." If Juliet Landau is going to continue appearing on Buffy and Angel, could someone please get her a vocal coach? Her British accent is TERRIBLE. Spike tells Buffy he's going to prove he loves her; he grabs a stake from his Buffy shrine and holds it to Dru's chest. Dru giggles, and Buffy really doesn't care about Spike's big gesture. Attitude, attitude. Spike tells Buffy that Dru is "the face of [his] salvation" and that she "never stopped taking [him] to new depths." Spike, honey, nine out ten relationship experts agree that blathering on about your fabulous, murderous, "black beauty" ex-girlfriend whilst caressing her face is not a clever way to win a new girl's heart. And the tenth relationship expert was a Gak demon so I wouldn't take his word for anything.

Buffy is still not impressed, so Spike (who still hasn't staked Dru ["Stake her, Spike, stake her!" -- Ace]) ups the ante by telling Buffy that if she doesn't admit she has some "tiny feeling" for him, he'll let Dru go free to kill Buffy. Dru avidly agrees, "I like that game much more." Spike practically begs for a "crumb" from Buffy. Good move, Spike, because there's nothing a lady loves more than a desperate, pathetic, begging guy. Unless it's a desperate, pathetic, begging guy who lets his ex taser her and then chains her to the wall. "Spike," says Buffy quietly so that Spike comes in close to her. "The only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious," she continues. Ouch! Spike screams in frustration and rants, "What the bloody hell is wrong with you bloody women?!!" Buffy is still unimpressed, and sasses Spike. He then blames the whole thing on Dru for leaving him for the chaos demon and turns on Buffy, admitting that he knows his feelings for her are wrong. He says she's destroying him, just leaving essence d'Buffy in his dead shell.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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