Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Strega: C | 2 USERS: B
All wet

Elsewhere in the store, Dawn and Tara are gathering books for demon research. Anya and Xander sit nearby, and Anya is trying for the five billionth time to convince Xander to announce their engagement. Xander agrees, stands up, and then sits down and says he'll wait till Buffy and Willow join the group. Anya calls him a chicken and dares him to share the news. Xander says, "If I tell them we're engaged right after you dared me to, wouldn't you always wonder if that's the only reason I did it?" Why would she wonder? It clearly would be the only reason he did it. I hate them both. Anya just hates the situation, though, adding, "This tone in my voice? I dislike it more than you do, and I'm closer to it!" Wow, I sure hope they get married. And then kill each other.

Tara and Dawn sit down at the table with their piles of books. Dawn insists that she's old enough to join the research fun, but Tara gently insists that Dawn is "only fifteen." It's a good thing Tara said that, and not Willow or Xander or Buffy, all of whom were doing more than research when they were fifteen. Research? That'll corrupt her innocence. Whatever. Dawn whines, "If you don't let me look at the pictures, I'm gonna learn everything I know about demons on the street." "Look at the pictures"? They're worried about her seeing pictures of monsters? Are they aware of all the picture books that innocent children might find at the local library? I understand none of this. Tara gives in and hands Dawn a book. Dawn flips it open and sees -- aieee! A picture! She comments, "That's a weird place for a horn." After a beat, she closes the book and whispers, "That's not a horn." Xander deftly reminds us that there was some excuse for a plot flailing about recently, and wonders what kind of demon would rob a bank. Anya says, "The kind that wants money." Xander wonders, "What do you even call that?" Inexplicably, no one just points at Anya in response. Instead, Dawn holds up a book with a picture of the demon from the bank. Hang on -- since Buffy watched the demon leave the bank, you'd think she'd be aware that it wasn't holding fistfuls of money when it left. And for that matter, banks? Often keen on security. Including, for instance, cameras. Why am I bothering? Dawn says that the demon in the book has an apostrophe in its name, but she think its name is pronounced "Mmm-fashnik. Like, mmmm, cookies." They go on like this while I wait for Dawn to read from the part of the book that explains why it would want money, since that has to be how she figured it was the demon at the bank. She doesn't, though.

Buffy and Willow finally wander out from the back room, and Dawn holds up the picture for Buffy to see. Buffy asks, "You do research now? Want a cappuccino and a pack of cigarettes to go with it?" It's research! Reading books! If they were trying to keep Dawn from fighting demons, it'd still be hypocritical, but I could sort of understand it. I don't get how reading is, in itself, a dangerous adult activity. Buffy says that the picture is the demon she ran into, and starts talking about how strong it was when she suddenly looks up and stops mid-sentence. Everyone turns to see special guest star Giles standing by the door. He puts his bags down and walks toward them, and Buffy goes up for a big hug. Aw, Giles. Giles whispers, "You're alive. You're here. And you're still remarkably strong." He chuckles as Buffy lets go of him and apologizes. Giles says he couldn't believe it, even when Willow told him Buffy was alive. Buffy says, "I take some getting used to. I'm still getting used to me." Giles stammers and insists, "You're..." Buffy smirks, "A miracle." Eh. Giles agrees, "Yes. But then, I've always thought so." They look at each other, and Buffy looks sort of lost but happy to see him. Again I say: Aw.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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