Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Strega: C | 2 USERS: B
All wet

Anyway, Brad asks if Buffy heard "all that noise" inside, and Buffy replies, "Just enough to make me feel crappy." Brad says that Giles didn't mean anything by it, which strikes me as odd, since Giles didn't say anything bad about Buffy, and he pretty clearly did mean what he said about Willow. Buffy says, "They all care so much, it makes it all harder." Brad doesn't understand. He's cute when he cocks his head that way. Which he does constantly, so I don't know how long I'll go on thinking it's cute and not evidence of some kind of spine maladjustment. Buffy complains, "I just feel like I'm spending all my time trying to be okay, so they don't worry. It's exhausting. And then I..." Brad finishes, "And that makes 'em worry even more." He stands next to Buffy and asks, "You want me to take them out? Give me a hell of a headache, but I could probably thin the herd a little." Buffy chuckles, because it's funny for good old Brad to threaten to murder her friends. If it was Spike, it wouldn't be funny; in fact, she'd kill him for saying that, but it's Brad, so it's okay. He notices her reluctant smile and says, "Knew I could get a grin." Buffy sits down on the steps and asks why he's always around when she's miserable. Brad answers, "'Cause that's when you're alone, I reckon. I'm not one for crowds myself these days." "I reckon"? Brad's from Texas. Buffy admits she doesn't care for crowds either. They stare out at nothing. Buffy finally asks, "What do you know about finances?" Brad looks at her.

Dawn tromps down the stairs, wearing a T-shirt with a big 55 on it. That's the speed limit, you know. Which this episode has carefully avoided breaking. Giles greets her, and they agree that neither of them can sleep. Dawn asks, "You ever try mixing parts of every cereal you got together in one bowl?" So that's where all the money has gone: Cereal. There are worse investments. Giles yawns, "Does it work?" Work for what? I missed something. Dawn invites Giles to join in her experiment, and he replies, "Why don't I be your control group. I find, as you get older, that you lose patience with throwing up." He looks at the front door as the knob begins rattling. Giles asks if the door is locked, and Dawn says it should be. Suddenly the door breaks open, and Dawn is knocked over by something I just can't figure out. The demon enters and smacks Giles into the stair railing, which collapses under him. The demon looks down at Dawn and growls, "You're not the Slayer. But you'll do for a start." Dawn screams, and glasses shatter throughout the house.

After taking a breather during the ads, the demon resumes menacing Dawn. Suddenly he's pulled away by Buffy, who says, "You're paying for that door, buddy." She shoves him back into the living room, where the coffee table collapses under his weight. Buffy moans, and the demon stands up and hurls a table leg into a corner, where it shatters a lamp. The demon shouts, "You have cost me, Slayer!" Buffy replies, "I cost you? That's a designer lamp, you mook!" Heh. "Mook." Heh heh. Pardon me. Anyway, they get back to fighting, and Buffy tosses the demon onto the dining room table this time. The table holds, but a glass bowl on the table is crushed. I can't believe I'm recapping which household items get broken. ["Hee. Demian can relate." -- Sars] Or don't get broken: Buffy's knocked back, and brushes a vase off the mantel, but manages to catch it. She hangs onto it while kicking the demon, and neatly replaces it before returning to battle. After breaking a picture frame, the demon is suddenly hauled back by Brad. Buffy orders Brad, "I want him in the kitchen!" Why? She kicks the demon again, and he's thrown into the back door, breaking still more glass. Brad looks on as Buffy pummels the demon a bit, and she finally orders Brad to open the door. Not the back door, so she can take the fight outside, but the basement door. I don't understand. Neither does Brad, but he opens the door and watches as Buffy and the demon tumble down the stairs. The demon splashes into the foot-high lake down there. More fighting. The demon breaks off the pipe that Buffy tightened back at the start of the episode. Buffy is quite miffed. The demon attacks, and she wrestles the pipe away and knocks him down into the water. She clubs him a few times with the pipe while grunting, "No! More! Full! Copper! Re-pipe!" I can't pretend this makes sense. With the demon dispatched, Buffy sighs and looks up at the dripping pipe. From the stairs, Brad looks down and asks, "Did you know this place was flooded?" Oh, that wacky Brad. This was the big climax? Yipes.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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