Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Fool For Love

Episode Report Card
Ace: D | 20 USERS: A
Fool To Cry

Buffy's room at the Summers home. Bloody cotton balls and various wound-dressing paraphernalia. Buffy, with a freakishly ugly, beige, shirred sleeveless (one adjective is never enough to describe the clothes on Buffy) top flipped up over her boobs, is getting her stomach taped by Riley as they discuss the seriousness of her wound. Buffy declines to go to a hospital because she feels her mother doesn't need the added stress, and assures Riley that her wound will heal quickly due to her Slayer powers. She also strokes his hair and compliments him on being able to dress her wound, but Riley doesn't seem too flattered as he begins to clean up the medical supplies, and inquires whether the vamp that just got the better of Buffy was a "super vampire." Buffy is chagrined to have to explain that the vampire was nothing special, and she's confused as to what happened. At this moment, Dawn bursts in and sees Riley rooting around under Buffy's shirt; she says she's sorry to "interrupt the sexcapades" but she wanted to let Buffy know that Joyce is coming. Joyce arrives, claiming she's "fine," but she looks quite wan as she talks to Buffy about preparing a list of groceries. As they talk, Riley carefully hides some of the medical supplies. Dawn covers for the bottle of alcohol by claiming she was using it for a "nail polish" experiment, and after Joyce leaves, she crows at having "pulled a Slayer-related cover-up." Buffy reluctantly praises her, but then relents and shows Dawn her bandaged wound. She extorts a promise from Dawn that she'll help with the chores, and Riley offers to take Buffy's patrol. Buffy is none too happy about this and makes Riley promise he'll take the Scoobies along. Dawn chippers, "When do I get to patrol?" to which Buffy replies, "Not until you're never." Dawn pouts.

Graveyard at night. Where else, really? Riley, who sadly has changed out of his Levi's and into some overly baggy cargo pants, steals amongst the headstones. He pauses to pump his arm in the air twice and then continues on. Behind him, Willow, Xander, and Anya stand curiously, loudly munching chips. Each of their outfits is a fright, but we cannot fully blame the Fashion Nazi, because I read the shooting script, and the stage directions called for them to be dressed in "incredibly loud clothing" and actually goes into detail. Xander wants to know what Riley's hand gesture means, and Willow, looking a lot like Dumb Donald in a fuchsia hat pulled low over her eyes and fuchsia turtleneck sweater engulfing her chin, says, "I think it's code. It breaks down to 'Choo choo!'" The Scoobs are still confused, so Xander, mouth full of chips, shouts out to Riley and startles him. Riley snarks at them, Xander and Willow bicker, and Riley wants them to split up to "cover more ground." They all apologize and promise to "be sneakier," so Riley lets them stay, as long as they ditch the chips. Xander hands Willow the bag of chips, and she grabs a giant handful and puts the bag on the ground. As Riley sneaks off, Xander admires his stealthy "jungle cat" ways, whining, "How come I'm not like that? It's just so cool." "I think you're cool," Willow assures him through a mouthful of chips.

At the Magic Box, Giles and Buffy peruse a huge pile of musty tomes. Buffy grouses that the accounts of the other Slayers' lives aren't very helpful: "Slayer called, blah blah. Great protector, blah blah. Scary battles, blah blah. Oops! She's dead." Giles helpfully mentions that he has an account of a Slayer who "forged her own weapons," to which Buffy replies, "Gotta love a girl with an anvil!" Shout-out to MBTV, loving home of many an anvil? You decide. Buffy wants to know what made each Slayer lose her final battle, so that she can ensure her inevitable end is a long time from now, "like a Cheeto." I think "Twinkie" would have worked much better there, because everyone knows the truism about Twinkies having a fifty-year shelf life, but since Cheetos are one of my very favorite snack foods, I'll accept that reference as the second shout-out in this scene. I love the tiny little rock-hard Cheetos you find in the bottom of the bag; they're kinda like Cheetos that got sucked through a black hole or something. Or at least I used to until my month of dental hell in September, which rendered me unable to chew anything firmer than boiled oatmeal. But enough about me. Giles tries to explain that it's difficult to get details of the final battle because the Slayer is rather, um, "dead" and "hence not very forthcoming." He seems distressed to even have to contemplate that eventuality. Buffy wants to know why the Watchers' journals all just stop instead of describing the final battle, and Giles muses, "If they're anything like me, they just find the whole subject too --" "Unseemly?" interrupts Buffy, and calls the Watchers a bunch of prigs. Sounds like "pricks," I know, and I was shocked for a moment, but I'm pretty sure she actually said "prigs." Giles corrects her, saying he was going to say "painful." He and Buffy share a sad moment. Giles expresses regret that no one is left to "tell the tales" of the Slayers' final days, and Buffy looks at him, realization on her face.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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