Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Go Fish

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: C | 5 USERS: D+
"Do You Have Any Decent Episodes We Could Air This Week?"

The next day, Gage sits in the lounge, and Buffy watches him intently from a short distance. Sensing her gaze, he looks up, and she averts her eyes quickly. Lather, rinse, repeat.

In the computer room, Willow, in a hilariously overdone interrogation voice, asks Jonathan some questions. She's even using an attached desk lamp as a spotlight, although it's of course nowhere near bright enough. Hee. She deftly manages to ascertain that he wanted revenge against the swimmers, and forces him to admit his heinous crime: "I snuck in yesterday and peed in the pool." Willow's "Oh...EW!" is priceless. Jonathan looks sheepish. Hee.

Entering the school, Coach Grey Gut tells Snyder that the rest of the team is going to find out about Tattoo Boy and Cameron, and he's not sure he can ask them to swim. Snyder puts on the hip boots and slings some more bullshit about how the "dead" boys would want their teammates to go on and win. Coach Grey Gut says he needs to find a person by that afternoon's tryouts, like, of course the rest of the team is going to find out now, or they won't have a full squad and won't even be eligible. So they only had one person over the minimum? In a southern California high school? Whatever. Snyder says the coach will find someone. "All he has to do is wear a bathing suit, right?" Well, I assume he at least has to be able to do a couple laps without drowning also, but I was only on a swim team for a couple years pre-high school, so what do I know? Xander, sitting at a table, looks after them and wonders if he can hide a sock in a Speedo.

Bronze. Buffy watches Gage. Her creepy stalker stare is pretty amusing. Catching her again, he finally comes over and confronts her. She fails to sell a "swim groupie" act, and he rolls his eyes and walks away. I'd like to interject that I finally saw Swimfan. I didn't think any movie with so much shirtless Jesse Bradford could be one of the worst five movies I've ever seen. Boy, was I wrong. Buffy tries to come clean, nebulously saying that something has killed some people and might be after him, but Gage blows her off, saying Cameron told him about her "games," and it's one thing for Cameron to have said that to Snyder to absolve himself of blame, but was he that deluded that he actually thought that's what happened? Don't answer that. Buffy looks a little hurt. Outside, Gage strides out, muttering "bitch," and Angelus steps out of the shadows and says he must be talking about Buffy, and I know they had to get Boreanaz into this episode somehow, but couldn't they have come up with something that maybe narrowed down the possibilities of whom Gage was upset with from any girl at Sunnydale High? This episode is so shitty I feel like I should attach a colostomy bag to my television. Gage starts walking away, but Angelus keeps up the "conversation" with such "gems" as "Who is she, the Chosen One?" Is there some sort of religious symbol that can ward off excessive meta commentary? Gage agrees that she needs to be put in her place, and Angelus finally vamps out and says he's "recruiting," like, that's not suggestive at all, and sinks his teeth in. Gage manages to cry for help, and Buffy, who's just emerged from the Bronze and hears the screams, slowly walks a few steps before breaking into a run, and was this some television experiment where they filmed this episode without a director? Because I've never heard of the director's name that's in the credits. Nor have I heard of the writer's, which isn't much of a surprise at this point. Anyway, Angelus drops Gage and spits his blood out. Gage got gypped -- vamps almost always swallow. Hey, I've been recapping Oz -- I couldn't resist. Buffy hits Angelus with a spinning kick, then draws a mini-stake that she was using to hold her hair in place. Now that's combining fashion and function. I like it. Angelus, unfazed, tosses Gage away, and runs off. Considering that this is really their first face-to-face meeting in their right minds since "Passion," I was hoping for something a little more dramatic here, but considering what came after this, I can understand them going easy on us. Gage gets to his feet and asks if Angelus killed Cameron, but Buffy tells him it was something else, which scares him enough to ask her to walk him home. We don't get to see it, unfortunately. "So, uh, been kicking ass long?"

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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