Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Inca Mummy Girl

Episode Report Card
Sars: C | 12 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Pointless shrivel

Anyway, Ampata says that Buffy reminds her of the Inca princess, and Buffy says, "Cool -- a princess," and gets up while Ampata's talking to start unpacking Ampata's things. "They told her that she was the only one," Ampata says with her back to Buffy. Buffy opens Famous Original Ampata's satchel, takes out a pair of BVDs with a space invader-y pattern on them, and frowns at them, confused, as Ampata continues, "That only she could defend her people from the netherworld." Hey, just like Buffy herse-- oh, of course. You got that already. My mistake. Still looking for the gold lipstick, Ampata continues, in a tone of faint resentment that we've heard many times before from a certain blonde I might name, but won't, because she needs to shut up so let's not encourage her, "Out of all the girls in her generation, she was the only one..." Just then, Ampata opens Buffy's top dresser drawer to find a collection of crosses, stakes, holy water, et al., and she trails off. I've always favored the "hiding in plain sight" strategy myself, but...the top drawer? Unlocked? Joyce is still kind of clueless at this point, but...not even a "KEEP OUT" sticker? Buffy quickly moves to close the drawer, finishing Ampata's sentence with, "Chosen," and adding that the Inca princess's story is "fairly familiar." She hands Ampata the right lipstick.

Ampata, not content with a mere anvil of character parallels, unleashes a hail of character-parallel throwing stars as well: "She was sixteen, like us. She was offered as a sacrifice and went to her death. Who knows what she had to give up to fulfill her duty to others? What chance at love?" "Who knows," Buffy mutters, walking back over to Ampata's luggage. Yeah, boo hoo. We get it already! God! Buffy says she'll just unpack the rest of Ampata's stuff, and Ampata hurries over to stop her, but just as Buffy lifts the lid of Ampata's trunk -- treating us to a shot of what appears to be Keith Richards stuffed inside -- the doorbell rings, distracting her. She trots off to get the door as Ampata relocks the trunk and The Minor-Chord Secrecy Strings camp it up in the background.

It's Xander at the door. Buffy giggles at his attire; elsewhere, Juan Valdez files a trademark infringement suit as Xander explains that he's from "the country of Leone. It's in Italy, pretending to be Montana." A good line, but not good enough to save that hat, which is at least two sizes too large. Xander eyes Buffy's overalls and asks if she's from "the country of white trash," and she fills him in on the new plan -- Xander and Willow mind Ampata while she and Giles go mummy-lunking. Where is Willow, then? Well, she's not coming with Xander and Ampata, because it's a date, blah blah romance lips whatever. Ampata appears and descends the stairs, rendering Xander speechless. Buffy translates the "American salivating boy-talk" to tell her she looks beautiful. Joyce appears to compliment Ampata and to passive-aggressive that she wishes Ampata could talk Buffy into going to the dance. "I tried, but she is very stubborn," Ampata says. "Well, I'm glad someone else sees that," Joyce simpers. Buffy shoots her a "cram it" look. Xander and Ampata head off to the dance, but Xander sticks his head back in to tell Buffy to "be careful." She in turn tells him meaningfully that he looks good. Over Buffy's shoulder, Joyce watches them go and burbles that after only two days in the States, Ampata "already seems like she belongs here -- she's really fitting in." "Yeah," Buffy says wistfully. "How about that." I've never quite understood that exchange. Does Buffy wish she fit in more, since Joyce is always harping on her about that? Is she getting territorial over Xander?

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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