Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Inca Mummy Girl

Episode Report Card
Sars: C | 12 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Pointless shrivel

Giles goes in search of an ice pack, and Xander, who apparently didn't stomp that far, pipes up from the counter that he's got his mom's car and can drive them to the dance. Buffy asks if he's not taking Willow, then, and Xander says he's taking Willow, but not "in the sense of 'take me.'" Buffy has to come with them so that it's three of them, because otherwise it's two, at that means, as Buffy puts it, "Dateville. Romance, flowers..." "Lips," Xander finishes. Buffy sits on the table and asks if Xander's never thought about Willow's lips in all the years he's known her. Willow, of course, enters the library right then and overhears the exchange as Xander says that he loves Willow and she's his best friend. Willow beams. Xander goes on that that means she's "not the kind of girl who I think about her lips that much." Willow's face falls as Xander concludes by shrugging, "She's the kind of girl that...I'm best friends with." That's a healthy attitude, Xander. I can't imagine why your romantic experience to date consists solely of a gigantic murderous bug. Nice bit of acting by Alyson Hannigan here, though. Willow decides to spare herself further agony by announcing herself, and Xander butt-monkeys about talking about happy things like the three of them going to the dance together blah blah awkward whatever. Willow's all, "Shut it -- Rodney's missing." He didn't come home the night before, and Buffy doesn't remember seeing him on the bus. "I hope he didn't get in trouble at the museum," Willow frowns, and Xander jokes that maybe he awakened the mummy. "Right, and it rose from its tomb," Willow jokes back. Buffy gets in on the act with a snarky, "And attacked him." Their smiles fade as they realize that that scenario is all too possible.

Museum. Willow, creeped out, wonders if maybe Rodney just "stepped out for a smoke." "For twenty-one hours?" Xander asks. "It's addictive, you know," Willow points out. No kidding. Flick...ahhh. Giles mutters that they can consider Rodney's nic fit when they've ruled out evil curses, and Buffy grouses that one day she'll live in a town where they can rule out evil curses "without even saying." Aw, does the poor widdle Slayer feel sowwy for herself some more? Shut up, Buffy. The gang discovers the broken seal, but sees the mummy -- or a mummy, at any rate -- "snug as ever" in the Styro-tomb, so they figure everything's kosher, but as Giles is examining the symbols on the Anthropologie plate, a lost Lamas cousin attired in David Copperfield's cast-offs from the Statue of Liberty special charges out of the shadows brandishing a cutlass and attacks them. Quick shot of the open-mouthed, shiny-toothed mummy, then back to Xander tackling Copperfieldo Lamas, who throws Xander off and bails. Xander's all excited that he helped: "Okay, I just saved us, right?" Buffy muses that "something did," but Giles doesn't care either way; he wants to beat it out of there before Copperfieldo Lamas comes back, and the others start to hustle out, but Willow's eye is caught by something in the Styro-tomb. She asks if the Incas were "very advanced?" Giles, impatiently: "Yes, yes, very." "Did they have orthodontists?" We pan down to the mummy again; either the Inca princess had a wicked overbite, or that's actually Rodney "Why Don't You Edvard Munch...My Balls, Cochise" Munson in the Styro-tomb.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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