Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Inca Mummy Girl

Episode Report Card
Sars: C | 12 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Pointless shrivel

On the bleachers, Xander "charms" Ampata by introducing her to the Twinkie, then stuffing a whole one into his mouth. Ampata is a good sport about it and attempts to stuff a whole Twinkie into her own mouth. Banter follows, but it's not terribly well-written, and it's also filtered through semi-masticated Twinkie, so let's skip it, shall we? They do in fact really like each other. Moving on.

Library. Buffy thinks she's found something and tries to bring it to Willow's attention, but Willow is playing with a frog Beanie Baby and zoning. Finally she comes to with a listless, "Yes. I'm caring about mummies." Shout-out? Buffy gently reminds her that Ampata's only staying for two weeks. Yes, Willow says, but then Xander can find another girl who's not Willow to moon over. Buffy looks down as Willow monotones, "At least with you I knew he didn't have a shot." Aw. Poor Willow. She shakes it off a little and announces that she has a choice -- she can watch Xander date everyone else on earth and wait for him to notice her, or she can just "get on with [her] life." What about Door #3, taking off that fugly blue hat? No? Well, don't say I didn't try to tell you. "Good for you," Buffy murmurs, and Willow squirms and confesses that she hasn't chosen yet. Heh. Giles, meanwhile, is looking at the fragment through the magnifying glass, and he confirms that Buffy did find something -- namely, that the mummy might have offed Rodney. The pictograms say that the mummy can feed off a person's life force, "effectively freeze-drying them, you might say." Do I sense a subtle reference to Anthony Stewart Head's Taster's Choice commercials? Probably not, as it's not really an episode of "subtle," but what the hell, let's give it to them. Buffy concludes that, in that case, they "just have to stop the mummy." How to find the mummy in the first place, then stop it when they have found it, is another matter entirely. Giles muses that the answer is still somewhere in the Anthropologie fragment, or in the pieces of the seal they don't have.

Out on the bleachers, Copperfieldo Lamas materializes and descends the steps, hacking away at Xander and Ampata. "You have stolen the seal!" he bellows at Xander. "Where is it?" More slashing, which Xander dodges. Ampata lets out an ineffectual shriek, and when Copperfieldo Lamas looks over his shoulder at her, they both start in recognition. "It is you!" Copperfieldo Lamas says accusingly, but Xander takes that opportunity to boot C.L. in the chest and send him bumping rather anticlimactically down the bleachers, then runs off with Ampata in tow.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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