Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Innocence (2)

Episode Report Card
Innocence (2)

Uncle Enyos smokes his pipe and the door creaks behind him. "I knew she would bring you. I suppose you want answers," he says, because he thinks it's Buffy at the door. But we see that it's actually Angelus entering. And that's the end of Uncle Enyos, who wasn't much of a Gypsy anyway, if he didn't even hang a little garlic around the door. Oh, how the old ways are lost in the new world.

Some military base in or around Sunnydale. Soldiers do maneuvers in the drizzling rain. The camera pans back outside the fence and along a shed wall and we see Oz's van pull up. Xander tells Willow and Oz (Oz! I love Oz. Sorry, but I don't think it can be said enough) to wait until they see a window open, at which point they will be passed "a package." Cordy and Xander exit the van and slip in through the chain-link fence. Cordy, looking like the contents of my recycling bin in a bright silver jacket and headband, asks, "Who am I supposed to be again?" and Xander tells her, "You're supposed to be a girl. Think you can handle it?" Okay, he's not so nice to her either. Eh. Their relationship gives me acid reflux. They creep along the side of a building, and as Xander approaches a door marked "Secured Area," a guard appears, cocks his gun, and demands that they identify themselves. Xander persuades the guard that he's a private on leave from the 33rd, and Cordy plays her part well, if unknowingly, by ditzing, "Hi! I'm not a soldier. Right?" Xander tells the guard that he wants to show the lady the "big guns" in the armory in order to get her "hot and bothered," but the guard isn't convinced he should turn a blind eye. Xander blackmails him by barking out, "Well, if you do, I won't tell Colonel Newsome that your boots ain't regulation, your post wasn't covered, and you hold your gun like a sissy girl," and the guard grudgingly tells him he has twenty minutes. Xander and Cordy enter the armory and the guard looks around, perhaps considering his not-regulation boots.

Inside the armory, Cordy wants to know how Xander pulled off his little scam, and Xander explains that he retained soldierly knowledge from the incident at Halloween when he was turned into a military man. Cordy is actually impressed, but is curious as to whether "looking at guns really make[s] girls wanna have sex? " Then she asks Xander if looking at guns makes him want to have sex, and gets the immortal reply, "I'm seventeen. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex."

Outside in the van, Willow frets. In a just-making-conversation tone, Oz asks, "So, do you guys steal weapons from the Army a lot?" and Willow replies, "Well, we don't have cable, so we have to make our own fun." A moment of rain-drizzled silence, and then Willow frantically asks, "Do you want to make out with me?" Oz is rather incredulous at this outburst, but when Willow asks again, he tells her, "Sometimes, when I'm sitting in class -- you know, I'm not thinking about class, 'cause that would never happen. I think about kissing you. And it's like everything stops. It's like, it's like freeze frame. Willow kissage." Willow looks excited, but Oz then tells her he's not actually going to kiss her now. She's confused, but he gently explains that he gets the feeling she wants to kiss him to get back at Xander in some way, and he feels that's "on the empty side." He tells her that in his fantasy, when he's kissing her, she's kissing him, and that swooning sound you hear is Sep, Sars, and me sliding off our sofas in a mushy mess. Oz says he'll wait; then he hears the heads-up from Xander and gets out of the van, but Willow just stares after him, smiling slightly, deeply impressed.

Jenny, Buffy, and Giles enter Uncle Enyos's hotel room and find his dead body. I'm distracted from all the pathos by my sudden realization the timeline of this episode is seriously screwed up. Damn, I never noticed stuff like this before I was a recapper. Curse my critical eye! Smeared in Enyos's blood above the bed are the words "Was it good for you too?" Giles states that Angel is deliberately taunting Buffy, and thank you for that, Captain Obvious (tm Sep), because I'm sure Little Miss It's-All-About-Me thought it was just all some sort of strange coincidence. Buffy says Angel is only making it easier, and she knows she has to kill him.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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