Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Sep: C | 7 USERS: B+
Domo arigato, Buffy Roboto

Previously on Buffy, I, uh, started my Tivo a few seconds late, so I might have missed a few scenes. But no worries, because these previouslys go on forever. Anyway, Glory pulls a face; Dawn is the Key; dopey Ben refuses to help Glory, but spills the beans about the Key being human; Glory pulls out her hair; dream-Spike smooches dream-Buffy, and then Spike wakes up; Spike declares his love to a chained-up Buffy; April throws Spike through a window; the Scoobies agree that April is a robot; Warren says he made April to be a girlfriend; Spike places the infamous order for the Buffybot with Warren; Buffy finds Joyce dead; they have the funeral; Buffy spends a few moments that night with Angel and worries about tomorrow. Sheesh, that was long and rather muddled.

Let me get this out of the way right now. I do not want to write this recap. Really. I'd rather have to recap a thousand episodes like "The Body" than the steaming pile of crap Joss and Co. has served up this week. In fact, you can sense my level of desperation from my attempt at bribing Ace .

Sep: Please. I can't do it. I'll give you two hundred dollars and my leopard print Doc Martens and I'll recap any future Riley shagging scenes, should they occur.
Ace: Hmmm. Okay. But we all know Riley isn't getting any more action.
Sep: Never mind. Now that I can look at it from the angle that I'm saving two hundred bucks and keeping my super-cool footwear, I think I can struggle through.
Ace: You are strange and off-putting.
Sep: Very.

Buffy, Dawn, and Giles are in the Summers's kitchen. Buffy is washing dishes, and Giles is helping to dry. He apparently cooked dinner for them too. A guy who both cooks and helps with the dishes afterwards is welcome at my house any time. Buffy sends Dawn to find any stray plates that might be in her room. After Dawn leaves the room, Giles asks Buffy how Dawn is doing; Buffy's reply is a silent look. She then claims to be doing "okay" herself, and Giles tries to assure her things will get better. He suggests that Buffy begin training again, but she seems very reluctant. As she walks into the living room, she says she wants to "ease off" slaying and training for awhile. She thanks Giles for all his help with training, but admits she feels "uneasy" about slaying. She feels that it is making her "hard," turning her "into stone." Giles seems very concerned by this confession and tries to reassure her, but Buffy launches into some self-recriminations about not being there for Rileycakes and making him leave and being mean to Dawn, even before the death of Joyce. Buffy's eyes get huge and wet as she worries that her mother didn't know how much Buffy loved her. Giles tells her with great compassion and gentleness, "She knew," and comes to lay his hand on her shoulder. "Maybe being the perfect Slayer means being too hard to love at all," Buffy worries. She feels strange saying the word "love" and then burst out with, "Giles, I love you. Love, love, love, love. love! Giles -- it feels strange." "I shouldn't wonder," says Giles, a little tartly. Hee. He sits and asks how serious Buffy is about the emotions she's expressing. She's very serious, so he suggests a quest he's read about in the Watcher diaries. Buffy worries about leaving Dawn, but Dawn enters the room and maturely tells Buffy she should go, if it will help her out. Buffy looks touched and tells Dawn she loves her. Dawn responds in kind, and the sisters hug.

Spike and Warren at Warren's parents' house. "Some say it's better than the real thing," ogles Spike. As Warren nervously echoes him, we see the object of their attention. It's the Buffybot, and we get a slow pan up from her ugly black pumps, along her legs (disturbingly clad in suntan color hose -- Buffy would never wear those shoes or those pantyhose! And considering what she has worn, that's saying something!), past a below-the-knee pink pleated skirt, darker pink blouse, and black leather coat, to her face. Her eyes are closed. Spike suggests the robot be put through some paces, but Warren, frantically stuffing books in a bag, assures him that the 'bot is fine. Apparently, she has "all the extra programming" and the "special skills" Spike requested. Um, ew! Warren tries to make for the door, but Spike grabs him, unsure about the 'bot because she looks too plastic. Um, duh! At this moment the 'bot's eyes fly open, and she joyously chirps, "Spike? Oh, Spike!" She grabs him and gives him a big sloppy kiss. Warren flees, and Spike declares, "She'll do."

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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