Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Never Kill A Boy On The First Date

Episode Report Card
Ace: D | 6 USERS: B-
Never Kill A Boy On The First Date

Buffy and the Slayerettes enter the funeral home and start to look for Giles. Suddenly Owen shows up behind them, excited to see a dead body. Buffy leaves him in Xander's and Willow's care, and then enters the embalming room. The door is open and the room is trashed but Giles has been hiding with a corpse in one of those corpse lockers you always see on TV. Having made sure Giles is okay, Buffy declares her intent to remove Owen to safety; Giles is shocked to hear that she brought her date along. Buffy tells Giles to stay put and that she'll take care of things. Buffy finds the Scoobs and Owen and breaks into an office, hoping to stow them there out of harm's way. Owen still thinks they're in the funeral home for kicks, and is confused as to why Buffy wants him to check out such a boring room. She tells them to barricade the door.

Cut to Buffy checking out the corpse lockers, looking for the Anointed One.

Back in the office, Willow and Xander work to barricade the office door. Owen curiously draws open a set of curtains at the end of the room and looks shocked. Willow and Xander approach gingerly.

Buffy and Giles are still checking the lockers, but find nothing.

In the office, Owen muses he's read a lot about death, but never seen a body before. Then he gulps and asks, "Do they usually move?" We see Owen, Willow and Xander are actually in some sort of observation room, and the window they are looking through reveals another room with a gurney in the center. On the gurney is a body covered with a sheet, but the corpse's arm is twitching. Andrew Borba from the bus accident pulls off the sheet and sits up. His ugly mug has gotten even uglier due to the fact that he is now a vampire. Borba flexes his muscles and quoth, "I have been judged." As Owen wonders what's happening, Borba approaches the glass and busts it out with his head. I know it's not right to judge others on appearances, but I'm sure that's not the first time he's done that.

Borba gloats about his new state while Xander, Willow and Owen frantically remove the barricade from the door. For some reason Ugly Andrew chants, "Pork and beans. Pork and beans," as he follows after them. I have to admit that the first time I saw this episode that phase entered my pop-culture lexicon for quite a while. Thankfully it's now safe to hang out with me. The Scoobs and Owen run into Buffy in the hall and point her back towards Ugly Andrew, who is stomping down the hall singing. Willow, Xander, and Owen try to leave the funeral home but are met at the door by vampires.

Buffy finds Giles still in the embalming room and gets some anti-vamp supplies from him. She tells him to get outside and find the others, but as she turns to leave, Ugly Andrew comes through the doorway and tosses her aside. In one of the funeral home's hallways, Owen says he needs to go help Buffy and runs off to find her. Willow and Xander follow. Ugly Andrew approaches Buffy, splayed on the floor, and Giles, who kneels over her with a crucifix. As always on Buffy, the crucifix is not actually very helpful; Ugly Andrew slaps it aside and tosses Giles into some machinery, where his impact manages to turn on the incinerator. Ugly Andrew lifts Buffy up into the air, but drops her on the floor when Owen runs up behind and smacks him with a piece of metal. Buffy lies winded on the floor and Ugly Andrew attacks Owen, who manages to smack him in the head with a metal urn full of ashes. He goes to help Buffy up and calls Ugly Andrew a "sissy" for trying to bite him. Owen's moment of victory is brief though, because Ugly Andrew whacks him from behind and drops him, declaring, "Dead. He was found wanting." This pisses Buffy off, so she deals him a kick to the chest in the best fight move seen thus far on the show. "You killed my date!" shouts Buffy, enraged. Willow and Xander hover in the doorway and notice that Owen is slowly sitting up on the floor but don't tell Buffy, I guess thinking that her anger will help her fight Ugly Andrew. Buffy manages to slide her opponent along a metal table into the incinerator, and Giles pops up to close the door behind him. Buffy rushes to Owen's side and lies that they scared the Ugly Guy away. She helps Owen up and apologizes for the hectic events of their date. Owen, quite wobbly, says he wants to go home, and Willow and Xander offer to escort him. Sensing Buffy's disappointment, Giles tries to talk to her, but she cuts him off.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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