Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 7 USERS: B-
Buffy the Slayer Vampire

Willow, horror-stricken: "Buffy, your face!" Buffy puts her hands to her face and mutters, "Oh God." Xander moves forward, but she turns away, telling them not to look at her. Giles approaches her, and gently says that she never told him she'd dreamt of becoming a vampire. Buffy: "This isn't a dream." She does a great job of conveying how scared she is that this will be a permanent condition. Giles acknowledges that it's real, but he says he thinks that if they can wake Billy up, the world will go back to normal. He asks Buffy to hold it together so she can help them, and after a long pause, she says she's up to it. "But we'd better hurry. Because I'm getting hungry." Xander: "That is a joke, right?" Hee. As they walk out, Willow nervously asks Giles if he's sure the world will go back to normal, and what they'll do if they can't wake Billy up. Giles: "Willow, do shut up." I want a Giles action figure that says that. I'd also like to point out that Buffy is the only vampire I've ever noticed that doesn't lisp while wearing the prosthetic fangs. What's up with that? Maybe it's just that SMG has really good diction. I mean, can you imagine Julie Benz as Buffy here? "Thith ithn't a dream," she'd thay, as she thimpered her way through the thene.

Hospital. Billy lies in his coma. Chaos in the hallway. Giles approaches the doctor from earlier, but we see that his hands are mangled and he's in shock. They rush into Billy's room. I hate to keep nitpicking, but how did Buffy get to the hospital in daylight if she's a vampire? Then again, the sun doesn't seem to affect Angel at all these days, so I guess I shouldn't complain. Xander asks what they do now, and Giles cracks me up by yelling "Billy!" in a loud voice. We hear Billy's voice: "That won't work." We see his astral body in the corner. Giles tells him he has to wake up, but he says he has to hide. We hear a grunt outside. Giles asks what he needs to hide from. Buffy, in the doorway, sees Jay Leno. "From him." Xander wonders what to do. Buffy takes off her jacket. "I think I know." She rushes out. Willow looks out the window and sees a bunch of huge CGI wasps. She thinks they're running out of time. She's also still dressed as Cio-Cio San, which frankly I would never get tired of seeing.

Buffy sasses Jay Leno. He grunts, "Lucky 19." If he said that for an hour every night, it'd be an improvement over his show. Buffy: "Scary. I'll tell you something though, there are a lot scarier things than you." Like your clunky delivery of the next line? "And I'm one of them." Yup. She makes up for it by giving a loud vampire growl, rushing forward, and tackling Jay Leno. They fight, and he throws her into the room. I notice, for not the first time this episode, that SMG's stunt double's hair is much lighter than hers. He swings his club at her, but she catches it and breaks it off. This subdues him, and he collapses against the wall. Billy asks if he's dead, but Buffy summons him over. "You have to do the rest." Willow wonders what's going on, and Xander says, "I get it." When Xander's figuring out the sitch before you, Willow, it's time for some gingko biloba, you know what I'm saying? Buffy: "No more hiding." Billy walks up to Jay Leno, and peels back his face. Light pours out of it, and suddenly everything's back to normal. Billy wakes up, and thinks he's Dorothy in The Wizard Of Oz. Well, without the singing and all that. He just does that tired "I had the strangest dream" bit. They all smile, and then some middle-aged guy in sweats and a baseball cap walks in. He says he's Billy's Kiddie League coach, and that he checks on him every day. "He's my Lucky 19." The crowd goes tougher than at a Carrot Top show. He asks how Billy is, and Buffy snits, "He's awake." The coach isn't thrilled, and Buffy accuses him of beating Billy up. Billy sits up and confirms it. Yeah, we know. The club was really a baseball bat. We. Get. It. Coach tries to run, but Xander and Giles grab him by his hood and hold him. Everyone's happy that Jay Leno has been canceled.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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