Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 7 USERS: B-
Buffy the Slayer Vampire

The teens find Wendell outside. Buffy asks him if he'd like to talk about what happened. This episode is boring me so far, so I'm going into fast-forward mode until something good happens. Wendell explains that he used to collect spiders, but when he went away to camp, his brother killed his collection by accident. Since then, Wendell's had a recurring nightmare about spiders, which came true the previous day in class. He thought he was dreaming again, but then everyone else started screaming too. During this speech, Cordy pops by to tell Buffy that they have a history test. Buffy had no idea, and freaks and runs off.

Buffy sees Cordy holding the classroom door for her. She snarks that Buffy's cut the class almost every day. What the hell kind of color scheme is she working here? A lavender scarf, a black blouse with lavender flowers, a light pink sweater tied around her waist, and hot pink pants? Gah-aah-aack. It's still the most interesting part of the episode so far, though. Buffy wonders how she's going to pass the test. Cordy: "Blind luck?" Hey, it worked for her on the SATs.

Buffy flips through the test, which consists of actual history questions, much to my disappointment. It would have been way funnier if they were questions like "Who's buried in Grant's Tomb? Discuss at length." The clock reads 11:20. Buffy mutters to herself, "At least I know my name." Anvils away! Because things are soon going to be so askew that it'll make her feel like she doesn't know her own name. Sigh. Her pencil point snaps, so she pulls out one of those little sharpeners that take twenty minutes not to work. She looks up again, and the time is now 12:10. She stares in disbelief. The teacher, whose mustache and glasses together look like one of those novelty disguise masks, regards her sternly. The bell rings, and the students hand in their tests and leave. Buffy sees the boy from the first scene in the doorway, but he walks off.

Two random girls chat as they walk down the stairs. They stop in front of the boiler room, and one of them, a fairly pretty brunette, says she's going to go have a cigarette. The boy is watching, and says to no one, "You shouldn't go down there." Sars and I were discussing this episode recently, and we thought the kid looked like Joseph Gordon-Levitt from Third Rock From The Sun, but we realized he would have been too old even then for this role. But that's who he looks like. ["But with dead-badger hair. Sorry, but I've just always wanted to backhand this kid." -- Sars] The girl walks down the stairs, and looks around to see if she's alone. As if there wouldn't be fifty other kids down there puffing away. Or doing naughty things, like on My So-Called Life. She lights up, and as scary music plays, we see a large bald man, one eye gouged out and scars all over his face, lurking in the shadows. He looks a lot like the rebel aliens on The X-Files. He growls, "Lucky 19," and rushes her. She screams, and he smashes her in the face with what appears to be a wooden club that's in place of his right hand. She keeps screaming, he keeps hitting. The camera cuts to a sign on the wall that reads, "Smoking kills." I'd like to think they were being tongue-in-cheek, but given the way they've characterized smokers on this show since, I'm really not sure. Commercials.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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