Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Reptile Boy

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: C+ | 7 USERS: C-
...or are you just happy to see me?

Outside the frat house, Xander is bitterly musing to himself that the frat boys will always be more successful than he. Can't we make this a silent pity party? Thankfully, he stops as he notices Cordy's "Queen C" vanity plate. I cover my ears as the gears in his head start to grind.

In the basement, Tom blathers a ritualistic speech to Machida. All you need to know is that in return for yearly sacrifices, Machida grants the Delta Kappas fortune. Sidebar here: How are we supposed to imagine these agreements were originally set up? Did the founder of the frat toss a note down the hole saying, "If there are any big snakelike demons down there that get off on ritualistic feedings, let us know. Price negotiable. One hiss for yes, two for no." I know it seems a little silly for my suspension of disbelief to die at exactly this point, but honestly, folks. Anyway, against the wall, Cordy tells Buffy that she has to do something. When Tom mentions the word "offerings," Cordy asks Buffy if he's talking about them. Callie: "Do you see anyone else chained up in here?" Ah, a sassy, positive female character! Remember when those didn't get condemned to death on this show? Tom summons Machida to come forth, and the frat boys get on their knees. I'm certain it's not the first time for plenty of them. Anyway, Machida finally emerges, revealing himself to be a green serpent-like creature, but with a vaguely human-looking head. Really bad costume, here. It's Fake The Snake bad, and it's not even CGI. And these frat boys pay tribute to what is essentially an enormous phallic symbol? Could this plot point be any less subtle? Anyway, Cordy screams us into the break.

When we return, Buffy is pulling on her chains in earnest. Fortunately for the girls, Tom blathers on about the agreement between them and Machida. On October 10th of each year, he gets hungry, and they feed him. Fabulous. Machida lazily surveys his dinner.

Outside, Angel, Willow, and Giles arrive, and Xander quickly appears, dressed in one of the frat robes that we saw in the beginning of the episode. Willow asks if he's wearing make-up. Hee. Xander tells them about Cordy's car, and explains that he found the robe in the trash. He saw a bunch of guys going down to the basement wearing such robes, so he planned to use his to sneak in. When we next see Angel, he's in vamp face, and looks pissed.

Basement. Machida slides up to Cordy. Buffy tries to distract him, but Tom says that no woman is allowed to speak to him. What woman would want to? He slugs Buffy in the face, and tells her to keep quiet. She regards him balefully.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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