Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Reptile Boy

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: C+ | 7 USERS: C-
...or are you just happy to see me?

Giles steps out of the library cage, wearing pads and armed with a knife and a staff. He tells Buffy that he's going to attack her, and he won't be pulling any punches. Buffy likes that idea. Her tone and facial expression are a bit -- well, let's just say that an appropriate song for this scene would not be "Hot In Herre." She kicks the knife away, breaks the staff, and when he charges her, gets out of the way to leave him free to land facedown on his desk. Hee. Thus endeth the training.

Graveyard. Buffy patrols. She finds part of a bracelet that reads "ENT," with a bit of the "E" cut off. Angel's voice cuts in from off-camera, saying there's blood on it. Buffy starts to greet him, but her attention is drawn by the blood remark. He says that he can smell it. Buffy notes that it's a girl's bracelet, then clumsily uses it as a segue, saying she'd like to see him outside of slaying. He asks if she's asking for a date. She hems and haws, and he asks if she wants to get coffee instead. Hee. She's totally flummoxed now. Instead of slowing the conversation down, he condescendingly tells her that he knew this would happen, and that she doesn't know what she wants. Anger overcoming embarrassment, she tells him she wants out of the conversation, and starts to leave. He stops her, telling her that if they date, things could get out of control. Like, tell me about it. I've had a few people turn soulless after sex, metaphorically speaking. But to have it happen literally must be a whole different ballgame. Buffy counters that maybe out of control is the way their relationship is supposed to be. Angel grabs her and tells her they're not in a fairy tale. "When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after." You might fall into a deep sleep, but that's another story. Buffy: "No. When you kiss me I want to die." Angel can't find a response to that, and Buffy runs off. Up until I started writing this recap, I thought that line was hopelessly overwrought and cheesy, but I've revised my opinion. In light of her earlier speech to Giles, I think what she meant is that kissing Angel, a vampire, is simply the ultimate indicator of how weird and scary her life is, and, ironically, of how alone she often feels. I'll probably change my mind again in a couple of weeks, but for right now, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

School. Buffy's class ends. As she slowly gathers her things, Cordy enters the room. She starts to compliment Buffy's hair, but then tells her she respects her too much to be dishonest. "The hair's a little...well, that really isn't the point here, is it?" Hee. The hair really is a little "something," but I'm honestly not sure what. Cordy explains that the Zeta Kappas have to have a "certain balance" at their parties. Fifty percent meathead, fifty percent bimbo. She tells Buffy that they want her to go, and if she doesn't, Cordy can't either. Which makes absolutely no sense, but whatever. She says Richard's last name is Anderson, as in Anderson Farms, Anderson Aeronautics, and -- her voice breaks -- "Anderson Cosmetics." Heh. Cordy babbles about how rich the frat boys are. Buffy, not really listening but obviously thinking about Angel, says she'll go. Cordy can't believe it for a second, then excitedly says she'll drive. "Oh Buffy, it's like we're sisters! With really different hair!" Hee. Buffy's all, "The hell did I just do?"

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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