Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Reptile Boy

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: C+ | 7 USERS: C-
...or are you just happy to see me?

Underground lair. Richard administers an oath to some shirtless dude, the gist of which is swearing his loyalty to the frat "and to Machida, whom we serve." Wow, proper grammar in a blood oath! They must be rich. Or journalists. During the oath, Richard uses a sword to cut some markings into the pledge's skin. The oath ends with everyone chanting, "In his name." I thought I couldn't hate Richard more, but he proves me wrong as he announces, "Brewski time!" As the extras enjoy the limited years they have left to drink beer without getting a huge gut, Richard walks over to the wall, where Callie is manacled up. While vaguely homoerotic things go on in the background, he delivers a couple lines that are both loathsome and "ha ha...not." Callie cries. I pop a brewski and heartily toast, "Scene!"

Lounge. Buffy has just told Willow and Xander about the frat party. Willow cluelessly thinks she's going with Angel, but Buffy disabuses her of that notion, and apprehensively tells them she's going with Cordelia. She runs away before Willow can say anything. Heh. Willow and Xander catch up to her, and Willow asks what happened with Angel. Buffy says nothing happened, which isn't completely true in spirit. As she complains, Xander hilariously interjects comments like "Don't you hate that?" and "That bastard!" They, of course, aren't even listening to him. When Buffy brings up Tom, however, he predictably loses his smugness. In the library, Giles, holding a sword, checks the door. He then starts twirling and slashing, asking of no one, "Will you be ready if a vampire's behind you?" Drop a 'lude, Inigo Montoya. Predictably, the Scoobs enter at a moment when he doesn't have his eye on the door. Buffy: "Guess you got one of those 'dance like no one can see you' emails, huh?" Well, that's how I read her facial expression, anyway. By the way, I hate those emails. Giles abashedly asks how the previous night's patrol went. Buffy shows him the bracelet. Willow says she's seen something like it before. After a little exposition about the blood on it, Xander proceeds to attempt a cock-block of epic proportions, urging Giles to have Buffy patrol that night in an attempt to prevent her from going to the party. What a dick. If I did that to one of my girlfriends, I'd fully expect to be removing a very sharp stiletto from my nether regions. Buffy sticks up for herself, saying she's unavailable. She goes on that she has a lot of homework, and that she and her mom aren't feeling very well. During this rain of lies, Willow surreptitiously stares at Buffy in horror. Hee. Giles shows some compassion in this episode at long last, telling her to stay home with Joyce. Didn't he read the guest credits? She's not even in this episode!

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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