Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 8 USERS: A
Things aren't always as they seem

The Bronze. Dingoes are performing. Man, Devon really doesn't have a good voice. He's like an off-key Gavin Rossdale. Or so I got from the five seconds I heard him singing. And camouflage pants? You can practically see the "Bad Idea" label on them. "Yeah, I'm going to sing at the Bronze, quit high school, go on the Popstars / Making The Band / American Idol tour, and sign a record deal." Bad Idea. Then again, Simon Cowell would probably sleep with him, so maybe all's not lost. The band finishes its set, and Oz hops down to join Willow, Xander, and Cordelia, who are sitting at a table. The place is very crowded, and Oz is forced to squeeze in. Willow and Xander look very uncomfortable at being pushed closer to each other, and Xander moves closer to Cordelia. She asks, "Xander, why are you giving me a lap dance?" I need to rid myself of that image. Oh good, there's Oz again. Willow and Xander nervously extol the virtues of committed relationships, and then reach for the same drink and knock it over. Cordelia asks why they're so hyper, but Willow none-too-deftly shifts the topic to Buffy, saying she's been off by herself a lot and "distracted." She's just noticing this now? Cordelia speculates that Buffy might have a new boyfriend, and Willow wonders why she wouldn't tell them. Cordy: "Excuse me? When your last steady killed half the class and then your rebound guy sends you a dump-o-gram, it makes a girl shy." Yeah, especially when she's back with the steady. And: "dump-o-gram." Hee. Xander still opines that she'd tell them, which is Buffy's cue to appear at his side and ask, "Tell you what?" Willow: "About your new boyfriend who we made up -- unless we didn't." Buffy: "This was a topic of discussion?" Oz: "Well, raised, but never discussed." Aw, they were so cute back then. And I love how Oz considers a subject to be optional in his sentences. Cordy presses the issue, and Buffy brightly allows, "I am going out with somebody. Tonight, as a matter of fact." Willow asks who, and Faith appears and puts her arm around Buffy. Hello, slashy goodness! Buffy: "Really, we're just good friends." Boy, a few more exchanges like that and I may have to start a HoYay! thread on the Buffy boards. Buffy and Faith take off.

Two vamps knock Buffy and Faith on their backs in a graveyard. They make with the fighting. Giles sits on a stone bench, watching the action somewhat idly. It's fun to watch SMG and ED fight side by side, as they have very different styles. SMG favors tight, quick moves, where ED is flashier and uses a lot of moves that take more time but impart more power. It's also fun to watch them fight each other, as we'll see later. Buffy and Faith eventually herd the vamps toward each other, and simultaneously stake them. They high-five each other on their "synchronized slaying" (hee) and ask Giles what he thought. A sharp female voice cuts through the air: "Sloppy." They turn to look at the speaker, who is a very schoolmarmish-looking Serena Scott Thomas, sister of Kristin. What should I call her? Sistin, for "sister of Kristin"? Nah. Krister, for "Kristin's sister"? Yeah, I think that'll be it. Krister continues, "You telegraph punches, leave blind sides open, and for a school-night slaying, take entirely too much time. Which one of you is Faith?" Faith: "That depends. Who the hell are you?" Krister: "Gwendolyn Post, Mrs. Your new Watcher." No, it's Krister. Learn it, live it, love it. Faith and Buffy look at each other bemusedly, and Giles stares, frozen, Styrofoam cup raised halfway to his mouth. Hee! Credits.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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