Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Showtime

Episode Report Card
Sep: C- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Showtime

So. It's time for the moment we come to expect from every episode: they fight. Buffy is taking it on the chin early on. The Junior Misses watch, transfixed. "You planned this. Letting the barrier fail. Bringing us here. You and Buffy," says Dawn to Willow. How did she know that? Dawn isn't exactly the brightest key on the ring, if y'know what I mean. As an answer, we flash back to the earlier scene in the dining room, except this time with special telepathic voice-overs! Because it makes so much sense to use telepathy! It's not like Buffy could've merely caught Willow's eye and pulled Xander aside on her way out. Oh no! We needed to use telepathy. And Buffy needed to initiate it even though she's never been able to do that before. I swear, this show has developed into something that exists solely to break Occam's Razor. That which is most contrived is true. Return to the fight. Notsferatu throws Buffy against the scaffolding, hard. Kennedy's crossbow drops down, and Buffy uses it to shoot him. May I suggest that you might think about SHOOTING OUT HIS EYES? There's a reason we've never had a sight-impaired Big Bad. Also, if I may be so bold, you might want to consider taking weapons with you in the future, Buffy. I know they ruin the line of your leather, but sometimes you just gotta make these sacrifices when you're the warrior of the people. You fight so that we, the innocents, can have that simple silhouette you are denied. As an added bonus, if you were armed right now, it would be much more difficult for your opponent to grab, say, the naked blade of a sword rather than the wooden handle of the pickaxe you're using.

Notsferatu knocks Buffy into some concrete blocks. He kicks her when he's down. He whomps her so that she flies skyward and breaks through the wooden floor of the scaffolding. And then the super-strong ur-vampire -- whom we've seen break down doors, take the full force of Buffy's kicks, and stand tall after having a ton of steel pipes dropped onto him -- DUCKS under the yellow caution tape. How silly. Notsferatu grabs Buffy by the throat and lifts her into the air. The Junior Misses want to step in, but Willow holds them back. Buffy finally pulls out the crossbow bolt from Notsie's chest and stabs him in the eye with it. This gives her the edge she needs, and she goes on the offensive, knocking him back down below. They trade a few more hard punches, and then Buffy grabs some convenient barbed wire and decapitates him. She turns to face her gang. "See? Dust. Just like the rest of them…if we all do our parts, we'll be the ones left standing." There's more to Buffy's little speech, of course, but I'm a bit tired of listening to everyone flap their gums, so I'm going to nitpick a little about the lesson that Buffy supposedly taught them. How many times have we had it pointed out on this show that the thing that separates Buffy from the rest of the Slayers is all of her connections to the human world? And how many times would Buffy have been well and truly fucked if it weren't for the teamwork of the Scoobs? Right. So if this whole set-up was a plan, wouldn't it have been more effective to show these green proto-Slayers that being the Slayer doesn't automatically mean you have to face all the trials and tribulations alone? Couldn't they have made use of everyone's talents in the group? Or at least brought some freakin' weapons. Especially in light of Buffy's speech about everyone doing their part. Instead, all they learned was not to fuck with Buffy. (And don't even get me started on how improbable Buffy's win here was.) Alternatively, I was hoping Buffy would show the Slayer Hopefuls that by using their wits, regular people can fight evil too. Like the old Dr. Pepper jingle! "I'm a Slayer! You're a Slayer! She's a Slayer! Wouldn't you like to be a Slayer too?" But no, that would be too complicated. Buffy walks out, and they all tramp home after her.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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