Buffy the Vampire Slayer
When She Was Bad

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 6 USERS: B+
...she was whore-id

Thanks to everyone who called the Scott Hope shout-out. Hee.

The camera pans to the right through a graveyard. We hear Willow and Xander playing a game of "Guess That Movie Quote." Willow gives one from The Terminator, and Xander gets it right. We now see them walking down the street. Xander is eating an ice cream cone. Willow gets the next one right, then gives Xander "use the Force, Luke," for which Xander rightly chastises her. Willow complains that it's a dumb game, but Xander points out that they already played "Rock, Paper, Scissors," and that his hand's cramped up. I would have thought his hand was used to a lot more abuse than that. Willow deadpans that if you're always scissors, it's hard on the tendons. Hee. I'm reminded of Bart Simpson: "Good old rock. Nothin' beats that!" Xander whines that the summer was really boring. Willow hops up to sit on the stone wall and points out that they didn't run into any monsters, but Xander says he's restless. And his hand's out of commission, too. Poor planning there. He goes on that he's actually looking forward to the start of school, but Willow teases that he just wants to see Buffy again. Xander says he's over that noise, but then wonders if Willow's heard from her. Willow exposits that Buffy's in L.A. with her dad, and that Willow got a couple of postcards at the beginning of the summer, but then nothing. Once again, I marvel at how underused a little thing called the "telephone" is in the Buffyverse. Willow asks if he really doesn't care, and he admits that maybe he does a little, as he has "certain needs." Willow says she doesn't want to know. Me neither, sister.

Xander, suddenly continuing the game, touches his ice cream to Willow's nose, and does that Amish-taunting scene from Witness. It must be pretty hard not to taunt Amish people, it seems to me. I guess it's no surprise that I haven't seen one at a TWoP Con. Willow complains that her nose is cold, and Xander obligingly wipes off the ice cream. Their proximity contractually obligates The Tinkly Piano Of Sexual Tension to begin playing, and, powerless to resist, they lean in to kiss. Just before their lips touch, however, they pause, possibly because my screams of "Don't do it! For all that is holy, don't do it!" succeed in drowning out The Tinkly Piano. As they pull away, we see that a growling vamp has sneaked up on them. Willow screams and gets off the wall, and the vamp pursues them. Xander tells Willow to run, and whacks the vamp in the face. Never let it be said that I think Xander isn't brave. He grapples with the vamp in a losing effort until a hand grabs the vamp away. We see the vamp get pummeled by someone in a shiny micro-mini, and then, with the vamp on the ground, a full shot shows it to be Buffy, sporting a new, slightly fluffier hairdo. She smiles. "Hi, guys." The vamp comes at her again, and she side-kicks him into a tree, where he's dusted on a sharp protrusion. She turns back, still smiling. "Miss me?" Yes, yes we did. Credits. David Boreanaz is in them now.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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