Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: D+ | 1 USERS: A+
Hold Me Closer, Closet Boxer
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!
Dear Rob "Not the Singer" Thomas, I was talking with TWoP Senior Editor Angel Cohn today. On the phone, even, not in e-mail. She sounds so young and innocent and not at all like the apple-tini pusher I know her to be, but you probably don't care about that. So anyhow, our conversation turned to this new little show of yours and the short of it is: it's bad, Rob. I mean, when Angel reminded me that cancellation is a distinct possibility, I -- I smiled.

And okay, so maybe she and I are a little jaded, because we so often watch TV for work. But my husband doesn't. And yet Tuesday night, at the end of this episode, he turned to me and said, "No way is this the same 'Rob Thomas' who did VM." The kicker though, is my 10-year-old hopelessly romantic daughter. She thought this episode sucked. Oh, she didn't say it sucked because she knows that's not allowed. What she did say is that Cupid is going further downhill every week, and dude? I agree with her. I mean, I'm getting paid to watch it, and this week, I looked at TWoP's rate for a one-hour weecap and thought, "I'm not sure it's worth it." I can only imagine what the people who are watching for free are doing -- particularly the ones who never watched VM and aren't inclined to give you a chance. Okay, lecture/plea over, but really, you can do better. I hope you soon do.

Nighttime; Tres Equis: A white boy of about 15 comes in, produces a bad fake ID with the name "Mr. Kowakami" and orders a vodka rocks, so Trevor gives him some good-natured crap and a glass of milk. It does a body good! The boy, Marshall (Colton James), begs Trevor not to throw him out. He's there to spy on his mom, Hallie (Constance Zimmer, whom I adore) and his boxing coach, Clint (Lee Tergesen), as they have their first date. Marshall spent the past year lying and conniving to set it up, which is all he has to tell Trevor in order to win him over. They go to Felix's office where they have a view of the club. Felix would like Trevor to get back to work, but Trevor explains that Marshall went to a lot of trouble to fix his mom up with the perfect guy. Felix wants to know how perfect, so Trevor explains, "She manages a public TV station. He coaches boxing." He takes a beat and then turns to Marshall, "Remind me again why this guy's so perfect for your mom?" Marshall says his mom picked him from a catalogue. Trevor marvels at this brave new world that has dating catalogues, so Marshall elaborates. "Sperm bank catalogue. My mom doesn't know it, but down there? That's my dad." Trevor chokes on his potato chip and tips his chair over backwards -- falling to the floor. I was going to have chips because I want popcorn and we're all out, but now I'll go with the safer Oreos and a glass of milk, thanks.

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