A Lie Agreed Upon, Part I

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: B+ | 8 USERS: A
A Lie Agreed Upon, Part I
Well, here all we cocksuckers are, gathered for the start of Season Two, thirsting for whiskey, women and walloping beat downs like the man-hungry pigs in Wu's sty. And here some new folks are: a nice-looking lady, traveling with a young boy and a few whores in a coach bound for...guess where? It's a bouncy ride to Deadwood and the kid's got a lot of boobs to keep his eyes occupied.

In the Grand Central, Bullock is paying a call on Mrs. Garret. In Mrs. G's room, Sophia (now English-Speaking and Featuring a New Wig!) is being tutored by...a total stranger we've neither seen nor heard of, some lady. She's pretty. And smart, obviously, because she knows that Bullock's arrival should signal her exit, with Sophia, stage right. Bullock says good morning to Sophia and apologizes for interrupting her lesson. She says "we're finished," and is immediately rebuked by her nameless tutor, who takes her by the hand to complete her lesson downstairs.

Cut to Al's office at the Gem. Silas Adams, bag man to the stars, is telling Al about the new arrangements for the territory. The hills will be divided into three counties, each to be presided over by a commissioner. Now, like me, I'm sure you've all missed Al so much, you were holding your breath to hear his first line of the season. We're looking at the back of his head when Adams says this thing about the commissioners, and as much as I love Al, it's impossible not to laugh to hear him ask, "Appointed by fuckin' who?" Listen, David Milch, you are awesome indeed, but it's just not necessary to have Al modify every noun with a swear word. Just every other noun. It wouldn't be so funny if he didn't do it again in his next line. Adams tells Al it's the governor who is in charge of making the appointments. Al wants to know "when the fuck" that happens. Adams breaks it to him that it already has, and it's three jags from Yankton who will be filling the jobs.

Al ain't pleased -- he'd prefer to have someone appointed who is "from the fucking hills" -- but Dan sees the silver lining. If they're all the governor's people, it saves time. "Just travel to one location," Dan says, "murder the three of 'em -- see how they like bein' commissioner after they're dead." Al gets a gleam in his eye.

In the Bella Union, Joanie is knocking on the door of another of the working girls, the beautiful Lila. She tells her there's a coach coming. Lila wonders if it contains Joanie's "friend and her girls." Joanie is nervous and excited. She says she doesn't know, as the coach is still up in the hills. Lila asks if Joanie would like her to come out and watch for the coach. Joanie very sweetly says no, then says yes, then kind of fidgets off saying "well, do whatever you want, but...I'll wait outside for you." It's, like, 15 seconds, and I like it. First of all, this Lila chick...smoking. Also, I didn't absolutely love Joanie last season, but this very brief scene gives her a bit of personality we've never seen -- she's hopeful.

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