Deadwood
Amalgamation And Capital

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: D | 9 USERS: A
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Amalgamation And Capital

Dan joins Al and E.B.'s colloquy with newspaper in hand and tells Al to "take a gander" at it. E.B. backs his way out of the room with instructions to find the Russian who Al says "looks like the prize at a carnival," which is sort of like, hey, pot? You're black, too. Or, more specifically, black-and-white-striped. E.B. does another one of those arm flourishes that I love so much and snakes right out.

If you can believe it, Ian McShane figures out how to belligerently put on a pair of glasses (what's next, belligerent hair-brushing?), signaling that Dan should get out of his office while he takes a gander at the newspaper. We get a shot of The Deadwood Pioneer over Al's shoulder, initially out of focus and then sharply-defined.

At the Bella Union, we get a lesson on how citizens in the nineteenth century participated in the public sphere through a shared print culture. Oops, I mean "Cy is also reading The Deadwood Pioneer." Tess (the new Lila?) comes down to tell Cy that "he wants 5,000 more upstairs," a request that unsurprisingly chaps Powers Boothe's bronzed hide. It turns out that the "fat bastard" -- obviously Mose -- upstairs has requested to have piles of money to look at while he, ahem, manages some accounts with Tess. Cy tells Tess to get the guy downstairs where he'll be tempted to gamble and so then get the cash circulatin'. First lesson on capitalism of the episode? Done and done. As we see Bullock and Charlie enter behind Cy, Powers Boothe takes this opportunity to chew through a few more lines, telling Tess, "Don't mistake me, honey, I want to take the time to explain myself to you." Hey, Cy? Sometimes sarcasm is lost on ill-educated and abused women.

The camera swings around behind Cy and focuses on Bullock -- it seems they've decided to go with an interruptive narrative technique this episode, with people continually walking in on other scenes -- who requests to "talk with Mose Manuel about his brother gettin' shot." Cy sends Tess upstairs to get him and turns back to Bullock, snapping a finger on the crisp newspaper: "All these rumors, Sheriff, swirling around you. How do you keep your hat on?"

Mrs. Garret's room. It's a special day for Sophia, who gets to play at the foot of the bed instead of in her corner! What luck! Ellsworth and Alma sit at the desk signing papers. Ellsworth tells her to put another "A.G." in the corner, and Alma repays him for his loyal and stalwart service by bitching out, "Is that abbreviation a term of art in financial transaction? Ought I acquaint myself with its meaning?" Um, how about "Arrogant Grump"? "Ellsworth patiently replies that "that abbreviation, ma'am, is your initials." Oh, silly me! I usually hire someone to do my thinking for me! But Alma is chastened, and asks Ellsworth whether, by inquiring as to the whereabouts of her money, does she "reveal an even deeper stupidity?" Ellsworth tells her it arrives from Denver today and then Alma asks about the safe they purchased, "to house the money." Turns out the safe is ALSO on the coach from Denver, or as Ellsworth relates, "Safe's inside the coach, money's inside the safe, is the full picture." Awww, see, they're nervous around each other! The sexual tension between these two, I could cut it with...a weak breath from a pair of asthmatic lungs. Anyway, the tedium of this conversation continues as exposition, exposition, exposition. Er, I mean, Alma asks that Ellsworth see the safe to Star and Bullock's, and that he try not to think too hard about the regular ass-poundings Bullock used to give her. Then she requests Ellsworth deliver a letter to Swearengen, dismisses him, and promptly runs off screen to puke. Which is about what I feel like doing, having wrangled that snooze-fest of a scene to the ground.

Luckily I am rewarded for my televisual diligence in the very next scene! Inside the Chez Amie, Joanie raises the purty red drapes only to find Calamity Jane slumped on the ground on the steps outside, cheek smooshed against the glass door. If there was one person on this show I'd want to find drunk and smelly on my doorstep each morning, it's Jane. Joanie opens the door and wakes the groggy Jane up. And, my god, y'all, I didn't even realize it but we haven't had one "cocksucker" yet in this episode until Jane lets it drop here in telling Joanie she saw Wolcott with "a bloody fuckin' mug" last night. Joanie confesses to having given it to him, and Jane rambles on for some time, avoiding stepping inside, about not being sure if Joanie was dead or alive last night. Joanie finally tells Jane that she needs to come inside because "it's nippy on my twat," which, while probably not factually accurate given the velvet dress she's draped in, is maybe the funniest thing I have ever heard. Unsurprisingly the twat comment nearly drives Jane away, until Joanie implies that she doesn't remember being in the Chez Amie the day before. If there's one thing a drunk doesn't like, it's being accused of being a drunk.

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Deadwood

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